101 Things About Me -- An Epic

Ah, tonight is as good as any to at least start this list… in looking at the other fab women who’ve done this, it’s 101 Things About Me, not 101 Things I LIKE About Me. Thank goodness – I don’t think I could come up with that many, especially in the pissy-*ss mood I’m in right now…

Here we go!

1. I have an old pug dog named Yvette.
2. I had a sheltie named Tyler since he was 5 ½ weeks old who I still I miss a lot.
3. Before these two animals, I’ve never had a pet before, save a fish or two and a turtle. My sickly brother was allergic to cats so Mom stayed clear.
4. (DELETED) Sorry and thx, M.
5. I started piano in the 4th grade and played first clarinet until 9th grade.
6. I switched to sax so I could play in jazz band. My teacher gave me a tenor because I could carry it, and bari because I could blow into it. I was not thrilled, but eventually marched with the tenor.
7. I played the recorders in Collegium Musicum in college. I loved the Renaissance music… ended up playing the bass recorder (which needs a neckstrap!) because, again, I was one of the few who could keep air going through it. I guess I’m just a blowhard.
8. I love Donald Trump!
9. I have an autographed book from Donald Trump to me from Bill Cosby’s assistant.
10. I used to work for the exec producers of The Cosby Show in NYC. I LOVE NY!
11. I used to work in Saks Fifth Avenue ON Fifth Avenue (in Corporate Compensation) – I’d never be able to work in retail otherwise because…
12. I am not a clothes-shopper!
13. I was big as a kid and ended up being an excellent seamstress because of it. As a senior I took sewing for an easy A – my classmates were making aprons and I was making my mother’s nursing uniforms, prom dresses, costumes and overalls.
14. I do not own a sewing machine anymore.
15. I knit and crochet. Learned in 4th grade but only like to do things that knit up quickly.
16. I once spent $80 on beautiful striated deep purple mohair, made a beautiful cardigan… wore it for a year without cleaning it, and then ruined it in the dryer. What an idiot.
17. I’ve never lived in a place where there were laundry facilities since I’ve left my parents home (except for the dorms).
18. I HATE THE LAUNDRYMAT (even though the one I go to now is the best, newest one ever).
19. I know how to say thank you in Ethiopian (went out with an Ethiopian by way of France – we spoke broken English and broken French and I found out they don’t eat rice – isn’t that what we send over there?!)
20. I love ethnic foods – I’ll try almost everything! Ethiopian is great if you can handle eating with your hands – or someone else’s (the oldest person at the table gives you your first bite… it’s an honor… I think it’s cool, my friends think it’s disgusting and unsanitary.)
21. I’m a snob about European things – especially the food – and often dreamed of being Eurotrash.
22. I wish I could speak ONE OTHER LANGUAGE well. I understand Filipino but can’t speak, and I fumble around in various other ones, but nothing enough to get out of an airport. :(
23. I can say Hi, how are you? and Thank You in Armenian and love Armenian food. (There are a lot of Armenians where I live, and I have had many friends… no guys though)
24. I was born and raised Roman Catholic. Once I went to college I only went to church when I was near my parents.
25. I joined the Church of Religious Science in my early 30s and followed Dick Sargent in line the day we became members. (Yes, that’s the second Darrin on Bewitched.)
26. I actually dared to take my parents there once. Mom fell asleep (“Look, everyone else is!” …they were meditating) and Dad loved the minister (“He speaks the Truth”) but both wanted to know why they didn’t talk about Jesus? hehehe
27. My parents are leaving for India on a tour with their priest friend and 27 other older Catholics for 15 days tomorrow morning.
28. I hate it anytime my parents are out of the country (which is often), I get worried, as if I’m their parent – I hate it! But I’m happy for them.
29. For being Europe-loving snob, I’ve only been to Amsterdam, Brugge (Belgium) and Paris. But it was great.
30. I once HAD A JOB in Lugano, Switzerland teaching drama to rich kids in summer school – hired and ready to go – but I chickened out because I never asked my parents for money to get there. I regret that to this day.
31. I once fell in deep LIKE with my current composition professor, whose birthday is exactly on mine. He’s French, grew up in Mexico and is the most incredible composition teacher and mind, cute as a button and sexy accent to boot. So glad we're friends now!
32. Now that I’m NOT in LIKE with Dr. B, life is better, but it’s hard to get motivated to compose again!
33. I have read over 300 pairs of hands.
34. I cannot believe that I am truly undecided in this election – it’s the first time ever.
35. I once lost 105 pounds in 9 ½ months healthfully and looked incredible for three years.
36. I went for three years plus with back-to-back abstinence with no sugar or white flour, three meals a day and nothing in between. (Who was that person?!)
37. I then gained it back plus more because I wanted to eat the powdered sugar on the Tunisian/Moroccan dish b’stilla at my birthday celebration.
38. I refuse to go back to Overeaters Anonymous H.O.W. to lose that weight again, as good as a program it was for me.
39. My first 12-step program was Debtors Anonymous and I was quite instrumental in bridging some specialty meetings from NY to LA.
40. I also belonged to SLAA – Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. My first assignment from my sponsor was to not talk to any men on the phone once the sun went down. And no drivebys (to stare at the object of my crush's apartment).
41. I had a short affair with a married guy – he was my acting partner for the kissing scene in The Rainmaker. He was the best Starbuck and I was a terrible Lizzie… but once we finally kissed (we’d been too shy to actually do it), it was way too incredible… but he was only married for three months and we never got to actually doing it (thank goodness) but got close… and we sucked when we presented the scene too. After that, I just quit that scene study class… too painful to be there and he was the stage manager too… but I did give my sheltie his last name… Tyler GABLE… man, he was sexy… probably still is.
42. One of these days I will fit into a teddy and stockings again, I swear before I die.
43. I’m too lazy to consistently have my hair done… and I actually like this little patch of gray on the right side of my forehead! (Just like my godmother :)
44. I had brain surgery because I hit my head on a slide at Raging Waters. They kept me in the hospital for 7 days because I was also having a 28-day period – and had hemorrhaged myself into a hemoglobin of 7 (instead of a normal 14) and should have been comatose. That marked the beginning of my big downslide into depression and eventually a new turn UP in my life. :)
45. I love giving makeovers. First one was when I was five – I gave my Barbie a bob!
46. I used to be a paid Color Consultant and did lots of makeovers.
47. In 1983, long before all these other makeover shows, I worked for a health and fitness show and we did the first “Lifeover” show where they would change someone’s life, not just their clothes. Trainer, nutritionist, fashion consultant, hair/makeup consultant, etc… and weekly appearances on the show and cameras everywhere. But they couldn’t have a failure… so they picked me! Dream come true for me – they just needed to have someone they could “watch” and it was a nighmare… fortunately I got a shrink for a year too – and a fun little documentary (15 minutes) done on me and 25 pounds lost in 8 weeks. I also got three fan letters. Hehehe
48. Despite my rotten experience, I love true makeovers… but advise great caution. One of these days I’ll really write about it… it’ll be a chapter someday, that’s how funky it was.
49. I am a terrific FAN. My hand teacher makes fun of my Jupiter Mate Selector (which means I’m only attracted to powerful, no-doubt, total confident people) because I’m trying to find my own power through them instead of developing my own.
50. I was a fan of Scott Baio (Happy Days and Joanie Loves Chachi) before I went to college and told everyone I was going to LA so I could be close to the Happy Days set. Ended up sophomore year I figured out how to Hollywood on the 182 bus and cut many Friday classes to go to the tapings and dress rehearsals. Ended up meeting him many times as a fan (yuck), but only a few years later wound up working with his brother’s fiancée who was the makeup artist on the above-mentioned health and fitness show! Hahaha Currently I think he’s permanent bachelor and I hear he’s a dog with his women… doesn’t matter, I’m not blonde!
51. My very first “star” crush was Davy Jones of The Monkees, and now of infomercial fame.
52. No that’s a lie… there was David Henesy of “Dark Shadows” (who I’ve just read is a hotelier in Jamaica and Colombia) and Mark Lester of “Oliver!” (who is now an acupuncturist). Boy, that was fun just now looking all that stuff up… I’ll have to illustrate my list later!
53. But my first real true “star” was Donny Osmond. Yup. I was going to become a Mormon for him and he and I and Marie would be the best of friends. Ended up I just BECAME Marie Osmond later in high school. (Ah, another opportunity for pictures!) I did end up meeting him on that said health and fitness show and gave him flowers on camera. What a dream!
54. Then I pretty much got into “real” guys… until 1984’s Summer Olympics and I lost it over Greg Louganis, Gold Medalist Diver (as I'm an Olympics junkie). And when I heard HE was coming to the show – well, everyone teased me that he was as gay but I didn’t care and loved the 10 minutes I got to talk to him.
55. Oh, I forgot Andy and David Williams in the early 1970s – Andy Williams’ (the singer) nephews. Yes, I’m on their mailing list now too, and met them at a gig they did at a coffee shop in the LA.
56. Good grief, this is whole thing is sounding like big time namedropping and I’m a stalker with no life of my own – truth is I just had a great imagination and no guts. By the time I got to Cosby I was pretty damn jaded (finally!) and the tried to be a fan to MYSELF and have tried to make my own mark.
57. Until I met Ilia Kulik, Figure Skating Gold Medalist, 1998, three months after he won his medal. Met him online actually, asked him if he wanted a fan club, he said yes, gave me his publicist’s number and I ran with it with a bunch of other Krew like me. Then he moved to LA… and well, that’s another whole story itself. Iliushka is the best and last – nothing can top working with him and getting to know him and his family. Ever.
58. Okay, back to me… how boring, I feel like I was doing the Donald self-promotion thing… ick. The stories are better, the names just sound yucky.
59. I have two younger brothers who graduated from Ivy league schools (oh dear, I just did it again).
60. My mother was a registered nurse, my dad a US sailor. Very typical couple of the Filipinos in the America in the ‘50s.
61. I went to Occidental College early decision (I only applied to one school) – it was the east coast atmosphere and college life I longed for but was too chicken to go to and I wanted to be near the entertainment industry (read: Hollywood). I have always loved this college. Maybe that’s why I'm having such a hard time leaving it!
62. I kissed my first boy when I was five years old. Garlind (sp?) was in the third grade – my first older man.
63. I kissed my first “real” kiss in the 7th grade with Brad E. in a garage party at my house – something I never thought about often until I saw him at our 25th high school reunion last year – and he told the whole world I was his first kiss! Yikes! I do remember it wasn’t great (where was his tongue?! Oh, I’m a bad girl.)
64. My favorite part of my body – my hands! Loved my fingers and my nails since I was a kid – no wonder I’m a hand analyst! My palm... well, there's much too much to know in there now...
65. I was a nun in a past life – no joke. (I do live in LA, remember?)
66. I have always loved my hair too. Always. Hate the idea of coloring it… but hate looking old.
67. I once worked as a “nanny-babysitter” for nine months, 10 hours a day, of a 2-year old named Shannon. I LOVED THAT LITTLE GIRL! I was only 23 and her mom said, “Just make sure she gets fed and gets a nap – and have your regular days.” So she and I (and a friend) went to the Hard Rock Café for lunch before her parents ever did… she played with Tyne Daly’s kids… oops, there I go again.
68. I’ve always been with YOUNGER men. Runs in the family.
69. I don’t smoke. Can’t inhale, never could, not in a cigarette, not in a bong. Figure I have enough vices. But I love the smell of pipe smoke.
70. I have long legs and a short body. An old roommate said I looked like a dancing M&M – how’s that for a picture!
71. I’ve been to Tokyo with my brother and sister-in-law to act as nanny for my 4-month old niece. I saw a lot of the hotel, and about a mile diameter outside of it. My first meal outside of the hotel was to have Russian food with some Kulik’s Krew friends in honor of Ilia. Someday I’ll go back to see the real Japan, especially after The Last Samurai.
72. My favorite romantic movie is A Little Romance with Diane Lane. I will never ever get tired of that film, and it always makes me laugh.
73. Hey did I forget Mel Gibson? I did. But he was only for the movies… saw all his old ones when he was an unknown. My favorite war movie is (there are many!) is his Gallipoli.
74. I also had a thing for Jeremy Irons. YUMMY. And I love that he’s FUNNY.
75. I only met my grandparents (on mom’s side) twice, and could say nothing to them, nor could they talk to me. That’s sad.
76. Until I was about 32 I hated all things Filipino, except for a few families and the food. When I left home for college I left it all behind me… until I met a professional (shock!) psychologist at a temp job – she introduced me to Filipinos in the arts and it changed my life.
77. My play Carabao Bookends was selected as the Theater Entry for the Festival of Philippine Arts and Culture. I wrote and starred in it and it was received well. Unfortunately, me as an actress sucked – didn’t focus enough on the great role I wrote myself!
78. I hate cooking. I hate being around food unless it’s time to eat. YUCK.
79. However, I LOVE GREAT FOOD, and adore all the cooking shows.
80. I don’t own a working TV. Not since December of 2003. Shocking to me!
81. When I have access to cable television, I only watch HGTV and The Learning Channel. When it’s regular TV, it’s The Apprentice, The Bachelorette and Law and Order.
82. If I have to come back, I want to be a triple-threat Broadway star and be Maria in West Side Story and look like Catherine Zeta-Jones. And I will marry an Antonio Banderas clone.
83. I still haven’t paid my student loans.
84. I’ve got lots of $$ owed to the IRS. Again.
85. I’ve never owned property or had more than $2,000 in a savings account, ever.
86. I have NO IDEA what I’m doing after I finish my degree. But whatever it is, it’s going to be organic – from the person I am, not who I think everyone will accept me as.
87. My parents didn’t give me a car in college because they feared I would pick up hitchhikers (even though I never did and never have before ever).
88. They did instead buy a house for me and my (sort of) cousins to live in right after college -- where I did end up picking up lots of strays! (roommates, not animals).
89. I did have a young cat for six months named Montague (from Romeo and Juliet) because he had an M in white hair on his forehead of gray – he ran away the day we were taking him in to get fixed. Talk about ESP.
90. I’m completely amazed I’ve gotten this far and a bit horrified at my diarrhea of the mouth… but will continue because I’m so close to the end!
91. My first crush who crushed on me back was when I was 16 – but we met in the Philippines and it was never meant to be (another epic story). It's the subject of my second full-length play that's gone through at least seven full drafts in 10 years. AARGH!
92. My next boyfriend after that was when I was 31 – and I was still emotionally acting like a 16-year-old! Scary. He was a cutie from New Zealand… but it lasted only 3 weeks (!!!) as he got together with the woman who became his wife (and then ex-wife).
93. When I was 36 I met and stayed with "Jack" for four years, even though I knew after two weeks it was IMPOSSIBLE – I just wanted a boyfriend no matter what. What a mess.
94. I love musicals. I’m not fond of opera – well, not any I’ve seen or studied.
95. I’ve made a few short films. I’ve STARTED many short films.
96. I eventually want to make features -- that I write myself. An auteur!
97. I LOVE ORCHESTRATION (setting something written on the piano to all the instruments in an orchestra).
98. I’m not fond of composition. YET. I don’t feel like I have much to say there.
99. I love plays but can only write full-lengths. One-acts bore me.
100. I love the fact that I’m facile on the computer and can even build websites that look and work well.
101. I’ve come to terms with not having children from my body… although at times it can make me really sad. But I think it’s that I didn’t have a child inside of me that makes me sad… now I’m seeing that I probably will always be a good auntie and a lousy mommy. Good thing Somebody Upstairs figured that out for me.

WHEW! So much for not being able to come up with 101 things -- I still have more to write! Goodness, what an 7 (Enneagram #) Ego-maniac I am! But now I'm not in a bad mood :) And I'm glad I wrote this.

And if you actually got through it -- well, by golly, where I can send you a medal?