Monday, February 20, 2006

Dream on

I know I'm sleeping well because I'm dreaming up a storm... I'm rested so the mind can take its little "trips."

Night before last I was cooking. Cooking up a storm... there were lots of friends preparing for banquet or buffet in a community center of some sort... I was helping with everyone and seemed to be the expert with all the recipes. Most were "comfort foods" of the people cooking them -- stews, one-pot-wonders, baked/broiled food, etc. And there was enough for an army. We never got around to eating it though...

Last night -- poor G3rry Alt@mero, if I couldn't have him in real life (4th-12th grade), he's there big time in my dreams! I learned how to be invisible and fly and found him and his family. Eventually I taught my family how to be invisible and fly, and taught him too... it was so lovely because we could help people as well as build our own house... flying and being invisible.

I'm going back to bed to see if there's more -- the two above seem heavy-duty (and obvious!). Good night, G3rry.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Quick Catch-up

  1. I've lost two more pounds (yeah!) - 13 altogether. I'm so LUCKY to have Andrew as my trainer! And if you get a chance, check out his fitness tips -- they're terrific!
  2. P and I are good friends again. I got over myself... and it feels great.
  3. I'm getting lots of sleep -- it's amazing what happens when you take your anti-depressants every day.
  4. I met my new landlords today. In May my rent will go up 87.5%. Not that I'm surprised, it's been the same teeny rent since 1995 -- oh well, decisions have to be made.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

What Type of Man Turns You On?

Buff sweetie
You scored 25% masculine, 58% athletic, 18% exotic, and 56% refined!

You like a buff guy with a clean and polished look. However, you do
prefer a more innocent look to him and not the testosterone pumped
manly man kind. Someone you might like is.......Brad Pitt. (At least in
this picture - his style changes so much it's hard to generalize about
Brad) But let's face it, the whole point of this was to look at a bunch
of hot guys. If you liked what you saw, please rate my test!

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 3% on masculine
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 14% on athletic
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 3% on exotic
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 62% on refined
Link: The What type of MAN turns you on Test written by thinkandcome on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Another grin

Just got this email from an old friend from high school that I met again at a reunion in 2004 (after 26 years). He and his new young and beautiful wife we a perfect pair...

Now look it, I'm being serious. T an I are having a
baby girl in july, just found out the sex last week.
Our first, Is that funny are what? I'll be 46 when
shes born. I kill me. My greatgrand father had five
girls in his late fiftes. So kinda a family tradition. L J
It's just so sweet! John was the ex-bandmate I'd get to sit next to because I played bari sax and he played the sousaphone (tuba) and we had many a fun time at 8:00 am in the morning, yakking away!

And for being a "band geek" like me... the guy was a quite an athlete too. Here's my favorite picture of him... again, how lucky I was in back then!


Something to smile about

Parrish and Madley
A couple of weeks ago I drove down to the Disneyland Hotel to meet my dear friend, Parrish -- a young buck I met 12 years ago when he was fresh out of college and had just moved to Los Angeles from Chicago to make it in the film/TV business.

We were inseparable friends as soon as we met, he eventually rented a room in my house, and we spent lots of $ on movies and dinners out. But alas, Chicago beckoned him home, so off he went, though he's always stayed close to his "Ate" (older sister) via phone and email.

Fortunately we could spend at least a few hours together though I cringe every time at a Disney property. He makes me of a good time in my life: my play had just been produced and I had lots of confidence, energy and verve. I also lived in a sweet house, worked as an independent contractor in a law firm (night shift even!) and was in writing and acting classes... I just felt happy then... and he reminded me (and always reminds me) of how strong and important I was to him then. It felt great to be in that space again.

Lastly, Parrish showed me pictures of his beautiful fiancée, Kay, who he's marrying in March in Bangkok. Oh I wish I could go! It's going to be quite the formal -- and fun -- weeklong event... and you know, if Love can hit a crazy bachelor like him that hard... hell, I'm SURE there's hope for me yet! ;)

Parrish, just know I'll be with you and Kay in spirit... and I'm looking forward to meeting you both here sometime soon.

Monday, February 06, 2006

I can't help it

I'm so mad I could spit.


dis·trac·tion n.

1. The act of distracting or the condition of being distracted.
2. Something, especially an amusement, that distracts.
3. Extreme mental or emotional disturbance; obsession: loved the puppy to distraction.

dis·trac·tion n.

1. A condition or state of mind in which the attention is diverted from an original focus or interest.
2. Separation of bony fragments or joint surfaces of a limb by extension.

Interesting word for me today.

I'm feeling just a little bitchy right now... the feedback I'm getting from my non-virtual world is just a bit shady to me.

Relationships...crushes...dreams...hopes -- are these things a distraction from being the "real" me? From living the life and being the person I am "meant" to be?

And "meant to be" according to who? And on who's fucking time table?

It's a really big question that can't be answered in a flash; and at the same time, I'm not going to beat myself up for having a life that on the outside looks like ONE BIG FUCKING DISTRACTION.


This is what my life LOOKS like. And if you want to call it a distraction to actually be AWAKE for things that are happening along the way -- you know, something akin to "smelling the roses" -- then be my guest. What matters is what I think my life needs to be about, and how I do or don't make myself happy.

Yes, now I have something to THINK about... or wait, I forget, you think I'm too much in my head anyway... damn, these airy hands.

Well, whatever I'm doing, you just talk amongst yourselves and don't tell me any of it. I've got enough distracting pollution around me as it is.

Friday, February 03, 2006

A room is not a house...

"A House Is Not A Home"
by Burt Bacharach
sung by Luther Vandross

A chair is still a chair, even when there's no one sittin' there
But a chair is not a house and a house is not a home
When there's no one there to hold you tight
And no one there you can kiss goodnight

A room is a still a room, even when there's nothin' there but gloom
But a room is not a house and a house is not a home
When the two of us are far apart
And one of us has a broken heart

Now and then I call your name
And suddenly your face appears
But it's just a crazy game
When it ends, it ends in tears

Pretty little darling, have a heart, don't let one mistake keep us apart
I'm not meant to live alone, turn this house into a home
When I climb the stairs and turn the key
Oh, please be there, sayin' that you're still in love with me, yeah...

I'm not meant to live alone, turn this house into a home
When I climb the stairs and turn the key
Oh, please be there, still in love
I said still in love
Still in love with you...yeah...

Are you gonna be in love with me
I want you and need to be, yeah
Still in love with me
Say you're gonna be in love with me
It's drivin' me crazy to think that my baby
Couldn't be still in love with me

Are you gonna be, say you're gonna be
Are you gonna be, say you're gonna be
Are you gonna be, say you're gonna be
Well, well, well, well
Still in love, so in love, still in love with me
Are you gonna be
Say that you're gonna be

Still in love with me, yeah...
With me, oh...oh...oh...oh...oh...
Still in love with me, yeah...yeah...

Thursday, February 02, 2006

HNT #9


How in the hell does a Filipino woman like me who abhors the sun get frickin' FRECKLES? Geez. I wonder if that dermabrasion stuff works on these things...they're cute on Lucy Liu, but not on me. Anyone know? Geez, my skin sucks.

Just got back from a Robert Wilson production of Puccini's Madama Butterfly at the LA Opera -- holy cow, tonight was NOT the night to see a Asian woman off herself for "honor." I understand it (Miss Saigon was more my speed)... but dear god, I don't LIKE it. Not in the places I've been lately...and am still.

Hope you all have a great Half-Nekkid Thursday...