Saturday, December 25, 2010

A Mellow Merry Christmas

Who knew when I went to the first St Edward's Simbang Gabi five years ago I'd be conducting the choir... and my life has made a huge shift...

Simbang Gabi has ended and I have to be at the Hall to rehearse for our last mass. Christmas morning mass, which I didn't expect to have to do... but we're making it easy... we sang most of this yesterday.

Why mellow? Hm... my heart hasn't been this open in a long, long time. To combine it with (1) impossibility, (2) a core issue about myself, (3) this incredible Filipino music (4) and this creative project ENDING...

I can't keep myself together, it really has been so long. Tears won't stop... And I can't tell if it's better to stay closed and cerebral or be this open and raw...

What a blessing and miracle to have this Simbang Gabi choir experience. Thank God.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Write Now

"If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavors to live the life which one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." -- Henry David Thoreau

I wish I could remember where I heard this -- a man on television said it, and I forced myself to remember SOMETHING about it until I could get to a computer. All I remembered was "common hour." Well, good enough for me for now :)

I decided to write again after a year and three months. Lately so many of my friends have become terrific blog writers (Heidi, Andrew, Meredyth and yes, my brother Jeff as well), I didn't think I was anything but drivel. Fancy layouts, Google Adspace, insightful philosophies and observations. etc. -- I thought to revise mine and maybe try to make money? Get lots of hits? Get known? Meet new people?


All I needed was to read that someone else was very purposely using their blog as a journal, for nobody but themselves. Now THAT'S me! I've been trying to "live in the now" (thanks Eckhart Tolle) which means I've got a memory of sieve. So... my blog is here to be my memory.

(Where did I hear that line: "I'll be your memory"... ah, Nick Nolte in "The Prince of Tides.")