Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Brooke's 40th Birthday

Blue LagoonWith Rowan
In Blue Lagoon (1980) and this year with daughter, Rowan

I don't know why I remember these things (celebrity birthdays) — when I was in high school I always wished I was Brooke Shields. Or at least Brooke Shields LIKE. But damn if I didn't overpluck my eyebrows and they never grew back. Ever. To this day.

Anyway, I grew up with Brooke Shields... many, many ups and weird (Agassi) and awful (baby depression) downs, very human to say the least. It doesn't depress me that she's 40... it just reminds me to look back once in awhile and appreciate today. Happy Birthday, Brooke!

Monday, May 30, 2005

Happy Vivian Day!

Viv's B'day

I forgot to post these on Friday, her real birthday. Isn't this a happy picture? I took this a few months ago. Gave her a 5x7 in an big frame/mat so she could put it her new apartment in July. She should have lots and lots of happy pictures of herself in her house (unlike sus padres, there are more pictures of los perros than of las niñas... muy triste).

La FondaWe had a lovely meal at a very traditional Mexican restaurant near MacArthur Park (scary) called La Fonda where these guys (there were about eight of them) played beautifully all night. I only knew one song — "It's Impossible" by Perry Como which they did in Spanish and it almost made me cry it was so damn romantic. Want a way to my heart? Serenade me!

I also had my first taste of mole which I think is a peanut/chocolate sauce — I've wanted to try this since Like Water for Chocolate and Chocolat! Who knew chocolate came from Mexico? I didn't! And this mole stuff was pretty darn tasty... I just don't like dry chicken breasts (oops). Can't wait to try it again.

Another fun part was playing in front of the restaurant with her friend Mando's homemade hula hoop (bigger and heavier — how old am I, I didn't know they did aerobic hula hoop classes nowadays!) . We were all crazy enough to try it — and the other Viv was terrific, just a sexy little mama hooping her way all night!

Then we went to House of Pies on Franklin for dessert -- can't beat splitting well-done french fries with ketchup and mayo with old-fashioned blueberry cheesecake... god, I'm exploding right now as I type.

But it was a happy MILESTONE ;) b'day for Missy... only great things ahead for you!

Steak and Green Beans

BullVenusI usually HATE Sunday/Monday holiday nights... those in my head should be/are usually spent with family and well, for today, I don't have one of my own yet.

I wasn't sure I had a dinner date with a friend, then I got really busy on the computer... but heck, I wasn't gonna feel sorry for myself.

Broiled a steak marinaded w/ soy sauce, salt/pepper and orange juice (YUM!), green beans with a little butte, and a tiny little baguette. And I actually sat down and ate it, listening to my favorite Wicked soundtrack. Yes, I coulda passed on the little piece of bread/carb — it would have been a beautiful Overeaters Anonymous H.O.W. meal... but oh, poor me, I'm not on it anymore! HAHAH Only thing really missing was the steamed rice to soak up all the sauce...

Ben and Jerry's Phish Food later, when the tummy empties. Got some writing to do... take care of myself tonight...

No take it back. I'm feeling Wicked. Mean ugly, Wicked. I guess I'm angry, hurt... I'm sure I'll write about it someday or it'll be the good punchline of a joke. Not now.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

HELP! What the hell IS this?


BullVenus! That's my name for it now, anyways.

I actually took a wrong turn down an industrial alley near my house and took this funky picture... of... a crazy creation! And yes, I do live in LA.

Does it have any significance in history at all, other than it's now appearing here in my blog? What do you think? What do you know? Oh please make something up for me — I love a good story!

Meeting Sergio — from Peru

Wow, amazing how a night can be so full and you've never even left your computer. Actually, it's nights like these I wish I had one of my pupsters around -- I NEED TO TAKE A WALK!

Just met I nice fellow on line through yahoo messenger... I don't usually answer IMs of folks I don't know anymore, but today I did. Ends up the guy lives in my town, on my street! So I'm flippin' out, thinking no way this is true... he tells me his name is Sergio and then for sure I'm thinking it's my friend L, who I watch The Contender with playing with me because of the winner, SERGIO MORA (see entry a couple of days ago). Come on now, how many SERGIOS are you gonna meet in one lifetime?!

But Sergio the Sound Editor is a nice-sounding fellow... and makes me laugh! The last thing I told him was that I miss my dogs, especially since I loved to take night walks... and he said I go to the corner and could walk him instead. HAHAHAHAH That cracked me up.

Nice evening. :) Now on to more website work...

Saturday, May 28, 2005

A Class Act

So I just read her email... the woman is a class act and only asked for a bit of clarification.

I would have bit my ass off.

Okay, so today I work on her site and I'll give you all sneak preview. I refuse to sit in guilt anymore because the truth is it will be AWESOME when it's done.

Wake up!

It's 4:49 am and I just got up 10 minutes ago.

There's a message on my email from someone who's website has been the hardest one for me to complete and I don't know why. It's awful. I can't even open her mail right now because I feel so awful/terrible/guilty -- all of those things. I feel like it's going to kill me.

I do have note that for the last 12 hours I've been dreaming about Ilia and Katia and the Krew and all kinds of personal things, my brother gettiing his first communion/graduation (you know how these things get combined in dreams) and Peter Manfredo Jr.

Big, huge people and big, huge events and I feel about 2" high because of ONE WEBSITE. Oh god.

Let me open it now and I'll be back.

Friday, May 27, 2005


Thanks Allie for this one :) Guess I'm just not in a workin' place right now and I feel like doing quizzes and such...

Three names you go by

Three screen names that you have had
kostia (I think, it was a long time ago)
a "secret" one ;)

Three things you like about yourself
Great listener
Nice hair
Love to laugh

Three things you don't like about yourself
Not disciplined

Three parts of your heritage (HUH?)

Three things that scare you
Some Chinese food

Three of your everyday essentials
The Internet

Three things you are wearing right now
Pink nail polish

Three of your favorite bands or musical artists
The cast of Wicked
Luther Vandross

Three of your favorite songs
A House is Not a Home
Old Devil Moon

Three new things you want to try in the next 12 months
Graduating from college
Graduating from Hand Analysis
Getting a tattoo

Three things I want in a relationship

Two truths and a lie (in no particular order)
I had boyfriend from Australia
I took horseback lessons in New York
Yvette was named after a pug in a dream

Three physical things that attract you to the opposite sex:
Hair (please look like you're from this century)

Three things you can't do without

Three of your favorite hobbies
Doing "makeovers"

Three places you want to go on vacation

Three things you just can't do
Keep cash in my wallet
Keep my house tidy
Get piss-poor drunk anymore (thank god)

Three things you want to do before you die
Get married
Weigh a "normal" and healthy weight for me
Ice skate so I don't break my neck (or anything else, for that matter)

Three celeb crushes (these are old, I don't think I do them anymore -- do I?)
Donny Osmond
Scott Baio
Greg Louganis

What color is your Heart?

Your Heart is Red

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla


I'm actually surprised at this -- my answers to the questions were a bit scary to me - - I thought I'd have a black heart or something!

All this is quite coincidental, actually, as I just went to a talk that beautiful Heidi Rose Robbins gave called "The Alchemy of Love" and now I'm going to be doing the workshop too.

Heidi Rose

It's gonna be great -- try it you'll like it! -- and Heidi's such a wise teacher and energetic facilitator. Or at least watch my heart work its way back up from black... (ooh, such a cynic today)

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Sergio Mora, The CONTENDER

Sergio Mora

I've been in a funk of late, pretty unable and unwilling to write, compose, clean... but obviously, not unwilling to keep up with my weekly TV date evenings with my friend, L, who has a terrific home entertainment system.

We love The Contender, and have been watching since Episode 2 and enjoying the backstories of these 16 incredible warriors. And yes, before you try to get me on the word "warriors" -- it's testosterone at its best and as a woman, it makes me feel SAFE. Period. (Don't try and push that one with me, I'm not in the mood and I've read too many message board discussions today to argue anymore.)

Sergio Mora

Our man, Sergio "The Latin Snake" Mora from East L.A. won a good, clean tournament with a bang-up job at the end against a favored Peter Manfredo, Jr. Honestly, I hoped Peter would win (he's a good cookie as well), but you know, it came down who really wanted it more. That was Sergio. (His buddy Alfonso Gomez was also the underdog, went up two weight classes and kicked butt in the bronze fight against poor Jesse. He wanted it BAD.)

But back to The Reigning Contender, Sergio. He's tall and lanky, with a good reach -- but what got me the most about him was he was SMART (he wants to use his BRAINS to change the world, now that his Mama doesn't have to work anymore!), he studied history, war strategy from ages, he has a beautiful lawyer girlfriend, he has pride in his family. He has focus and ambition, and guts and heart that just never quit. For example, he fought the two strongest power punchers (and strong characters too!) Ishe Smith and Jesse Brinkley -- but made them used their strengths against themselves. He ducked their punches (which apparently takes as much out of you as when your punches connect), and he also said that he knew they were gonna hit hard -- BUT HE WASN'T GONNA LET IT SHOW. Wow. Come on, look at those two -- skinny Sergio should have been squashed!

But he won against those two to get to the top -- and was the only one in the house to not have to hang up is gloves in the "graveyard."

Today, though, after watching boxing all day yesterday, I woke up in the crappiest, ickiest, foulest mood ever -- overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to do for clients and dragged down by my inability to take care of myself and my own needs. AARGH! The story of my life.

But then I thought of cocky Sergio, how he pumps himself up and comes up surprising his opponent and everyone else except himself.

HE PLAYED HIS OWN GAME AND KNEW HIS OWN DESTINY. Unlike Peter Manfredo Jr., still boxing under Manfredo Sr's guidance -- once last night Manfredo Sr. even trash talked Sergio in the ring -- what, did he feel he had to help Jr. out? Poor Peter... time to grow up and out from under Pops.) Sergio answered to ONE man -- SERGIO.

Sergio Mora

So today, I made a plan. Play my own game. MINE. Not the way it "should" be played, not what others say is the BEST way to play it. The 24 hours in this day belongs to ME and what I want to do and accomplish -- know my own destiny.

And then I got pissed. Pissed and complaining... and funny, how that can bring out the true emotion of who I am. And yes, I can out swear any sailor, but who the f*ck really cares about that, if it gets me where the hell I need to be!

Can I be my OWN Contender? You betcha. Watch.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Meredyth's The Hail Mary Plan


I just finished the The Hail Mary Plan website for my friend, Meredyth. Please read -- and if you can, please pitch in a dollar or two to help alleviate her anxiety.

Meredyth's a wonderful, trusting and good woman — and she ended up helping A BAD SEED screw her over. (And yes, I'll call her a bad seed — I [thought] I knew her better than Meredyth did but surely didn't anticipate this miserable behavior.)

Here's the website with all the details: The Hail Mary Plan

If you can, please do! We'd all be so grateful to your helping to get Meredyth out of her stressful dilemma.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

West Hollywood Tonics and Tea

I took my sorry flat arse to make-up writing class in Beverly Hills tonight, trying to get out of this writing funk I've been in for a week and a half or so. I usually hate to go to that side of that hill because I always feel like I have to look somewhat "hip" and "together" or at least have my hair washed and wearing a bra. HAHAH Obviously when I'm in Burbank/Glendale running errands errands I do neither — HAHA!

Anyhoo, go into this office building and think yikes, when's the last time I was in an OFFICE building? I just recently opened a new bank account and that was in a GROCERY STORE. LOL

Walk into class with a young, dressed down but hip married couple. There's are two gorgeous black women, the young one with beautiful braids and jewelry, the other a teeny bit older and just as pretty. Fortunately there are two folks I met in Pasadena when they were making up class and they say hi. Hi. I feel like crap. I wanna get out of here. This class is obviously full of real actors/writers and hip young Hollywood types, and I'm an old lady with gray hair I'm too cheap to dye and a fun new purple backpack on wheels.

I'm ancient and I feel gross. I'm surrounded by pretty people.

My first classes on the other side of the hill were at an Episcopalian church. All with wonderful women and I was the second YOUNGEST. And at this point in our lives, God had now bestowed us with ample breasts. My saggy ones felt very comfortable.

But I knew here it was gonna be hard to bring me out of the dumpster. Fortunately, the one consistent factor was my teacher, Terrie. THANK GOD!

She made me check in instead of going straight into the reading so I could bitch and moan about not having fun/discipline/self-worth to continue, but someone told me to just show up... and already I'm thinking I feel better already. I'd given feedback to people who'd gone before, but I knew they still didn't know me yet, so who knows if they heard it or not.

Blasted away, I just read something I wrote April 24. A RANT about having Jupiter Mate Selectors in my hands and how I surround myself with Jupiterian type folks so I don't have to look at my own Power, Passion and Confidence...

WHOA, it was better than I thought, and I felt pretty okay as I read it. Afterwards I got to answer a barrage of quick questions (so I don't overthink) and the bottom line was I fucking outed myself as to what my "dream" was. TO DIRECT FILMS.

Yikes, it still feels weird to say that, but it's great to get that shit out there. More later.

Nero and his Pops

Cesar and his dogs

OOH, that scrumptious little ball of short-legged fur! (he's half Corgi and half German Shepherd)

Cesar and his dogs

Them legs are never gonna get longer, but they sure are gonna be as cute!

I'm living vicariously now through other people's dogs since Yvette died March 26. Oh, I just counted forty days since then (May 5) — so it's okay now to let her spirit "go."

So, as in the movie musical "Damn Yankees" -- "Goodbye Old Girl!" Bye, my sweet Yvette... I know you and Tyler are up there hanging out waiting for me at that Rainbow Bridge — don't worry, I'll be along soon enough :)

Although it been 15 years that I've been used to having one or both of them greeting me happily when I got home, I'm actually getting used to being a dogless family now. I do have to admit it's hard to get me out to take a walk, or do something in the sun or in nature unless I really set myself up for it (you know like park far away from where I'm supposed to be), so I have to incorporate more purposeful walking in my day again.

And I really miss my midnight (or 4:30 am) walks. The world is weird at that hour, and magical at the same time... I especially miss Yvette at night. While I'm on the computer she'd always be near my feet or under the desk and I'd scrunch her all up with my toes... hehehe hairy furball. Every now and then I'll kick a shoe I forgot I left under there and instantly my body would go, "Yvet—"... and then I'd remember. THAT will always sting a little. I miss my old girl.

But it's not time for me yet to get another poochie. I'm gonna enjoy this time without the commitment and wait til I can get a bigger place and maybe a man to go in it too. :)

In the meantime, I'm happy to be Auntie Madley to all my friends' beasts... including baby Nero.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer

Rumor has it that Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer, is going to be on OPRAH, today, Monday, May 9th because she and Stedman have a deep dark secret about their dogs... CHECK IT OUT If you have a dog, you won't regret it.
Cesar and his dogs

I'm proud to say I was privvy to a session he had with a friend and her vicious, ruled-the-roost llasa apso. Yes, I'm dropping names... but I'm just so excited about incredible he was then and knowing that he is so successful now. He has his own TV show on the National Geographic Channel The Dog Whisperer and his own Cesar Millan's Dog Psychology Center in South Central Los Angeles.

I'll have to write later about that session we spent with him — it was amazing to see in person — but in the mean time, here's more about what he's about. Congrats Cesar!

Cesar and his dogsCesar's Philosophy

In the wild, a dog's survival depends on a strong, stable, and organized pack where every member knows its place and follows the rules established by the pack leader. The pack instinct is perhaps the strongest natural motivator for a dog.

Cesar Millan teaches that to be an effective owner, you need to become your canine's calm, assertive pack leader. A dog that doesn't trust its human to be a good pack leader becomes unbalanced and often exhibits unwanted or anti-social behaviors.

Cesar does not train dogs in the sense of teaching commands like "sit," "stay," or "heel"— he rehabilitates unbalanced dogs and helps "re-train" their owners to better understand how to see the world through a dog's eyes. Cesar counsels people on how to calmly, assertively, and consistently establish boundaries and prove to their dogs that they are solid pack leaders; this helps to correct and control unwanted behavior. He doesn't believe in "quick fixes," even though changing some behaviors can appear to happen in a relatively short time. None of those changes will stick, however, unless the owners work consistently with their dogs. Cesar uses a stern voice and a calm, assertive touch to correct unwanted behaviors. In his opinion, rehabilitation never involves yelling or hitting a dog.