Monday, February 06, 2006


dis·trac·tion n.

1. The act of distracting or the condition of being distracted.
2. Something, especially an amusement, that distracts.
3. Extreme mental or emotional disturbance; obsession: loved the puppy to distraction.

dis·trac·tion n.

1. A condition or state of mind in which the attention is diverted from an original focus or interest.
2. Separation of bony fragments or joint surfaces of a limb by extension.

Interesting word for me today.

I'm feeling just a little bitchy right now... the feedback I'm getting from my non-virtual world is just a bit shady to me.

Relationships...crushes...dreams...hopes -- are these things a distraction from being the "real" me? From living the life and being the person I am "meant" to be?

And "meant to be" according to who? And on who's fucking time table?

It's a really big question that can't be answered in a flash; and at the same time, I'm not going to beat myself up for having a life that on the outside looks like ONE BIG FUCKING DISTRACTION.


This is what my life LOOKS like. And if you want to call it a distraction to actually be AWAKE for things that are happening along the way -- you know, something akin to "smelling the roses" -- then be my guest. What matters is what I think my life needs to be about, and how I do or don't make myself happy.

Yes, now I have something to THINK about... or wait, I forget, you think I'm too much in my head anyway... damn, these airy hands.

Well, whatever I'm doing, you just talk amongst yourselves and don't tell me any of it. I've got enough distracting pollution around me as it is.