Sunday, March 06, 2005

Anticipation... AND I PULLED MY BACK!

My Team -- the RCKG girls, my hand analysis 4th year support group, is coming over to my frickin' house in one hour and ten minutes... and I feel like I'm gonna...

cry. die. lie. sigh...

Oh all of those stupid words that rhyme.

I flaked out last month, but hand teacher said, NO, you have to keep your word and you have to struggle with the shame this whole thing has brought you.

I haven't had anyone to my house (other than my next door neighbor out of emergency and Shaun who doesn't care) in I don't know, two years -- and that's because D. came over and painted and redecorated with me and it was decent for a month.

I don't even let my parents in anymore. They stay at the Ramada Inn.

So I don't know why, after knowing for two weeks they were coming, I think I'm gonna get it ALL DONE IN ONE DAY. Nutcase, not based on reality at all!

Reality is -- I cleaned my desk and my kitchen (same area), I'm proud of it. :)

Reality is -- I f*cking pulled out my back and I can't do much more.

Reality is -- they're coming in, I will die, and then I will take them all to Starbucks down the street, my treat and they watch me wail.


As I would tell my "people" -- the only way around it is THROUGH IT. It may not be fun, it may not be painless -- BUT it's MOVEMENT!!!