Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Honey

Driving home from CPK tonight I think I was craving something sweet because the only thing on my mind was honey.

"Honey."

"Honey," I said out loud again.

Then in rapid succession: Honey? Honey... how are you, honey?... Can I get you something, honey? Scratch my back, honey... Ooh, there, yes, thanks, honey... You mean the world to me, honey...

Ah, sweet affection!

I miss being called "honey." And even more so the old-fashioned "sweetheart." (Of course I cherish the fact that Mom and Dad call me "honey" all the time, but y'all know it's not the same thing.)

And I miss saying those things even more.

It's been awhile since my long-term relationship ended with Jack (oh, he's all over the early days of this blog), and when we broke up I remember that one of the hardest things to do was to get in the habit of calling him by his first name again and not "honey." That he was simply "Jack" is what made it real -- we were finally over.

But then Brad came a callin' -- "Hi, dollface!" "How are you today, cookie?" And when we were speaking very seriously, he is one of the few people in the world I will let call me by my birth name because he would say it with such tenderness...

Occasionally, I'd let a "honey" to Brad come out... and the walls didn't come crashing! I think he liked it... he didn't balk anyway... but I made sure I didn't make it a habit. WE OURSELVES weren't a habit, so it would've been way too presumptions to keep that up.

Today Brad wrote some beautiful things to me in a MySpace note regarding yesterday's post... I won't share them here, but it did remind me why I liked this big-hearted man so much!

He ended the note with, "I'll call you today, OK? XOXOX B"

But he didn't.

And suddenly I'm Shakespeare's Juliet at the end of the play:

I do remember well where I should be, And there I am.

Without honey.