Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Where Do You Start?

Since I'm not in the (self) rule-imposed August -- I'm going to let myself put some lyrics down.

Found out some real news... real evidence about him... my heart has cracked wide open AND IT FEELS BAD.


I can't keep my proverbial shit together... I'm going to have to hang out at Kinko's or somewhere all night because I know I'm not sleeping right now, I'm too angry, too hurt, too lonely, too afraid...

I bragged once that I'd rather learn to walk into a situation with my heart open and willing -- and then if it doesn't work, then I will just be building a stronger (heart) muscle, right?

Well, I was an idiot because I don't know how I'm going to get over this one. I'm never opening up my heart again. Never like that again. I can't. I don't think I'm that resilient.

Brad, dear wise Brad, had said to me many times that when he was in love he felt like he was the King of the World, and he loved the way it made he feel like he could do anything...

So is the opposite also true? That you are nothing when love disappears? Because that's how it feels.

Mike Valentino, I could use that hug right about now.

Where Do You Start?
from Michael Feinstein's "Isn't It Romantic"

Where do you start
How do you separate the present from the past
How do you deal with all the thing you thought would last
That didn't last
With bits of memories scattered here and there
I look around and don't know where to start

Which books are yours
Which tapes and dreams belong to you and which are mine
Our lives are tangled like the branches of a vine
That intertwine
So many habits that we'll have to break
And yesterdays we'll have to take apart

One day there'll be a song or something in the air again
To catch me by surprise and you'll be there again
a moment in
what might have been

Where do you start
Do you allow yourself a little time to cry
Or do you close your eyes and kiss it all goodbye
I guess you try
And though I don't know where and don't know when
I'll find myself in love again
I promise there will always be
A little place no one will see
A tiny part within my heart
That stays in love
With you