"Too Much in Love to Care"

Don't ask me if I'm in love, because that's not the point of this one. Well, sorta. That's another post for another day.

I'm doing some work on the computer right now and I'm losing it over this song from Sunset Blvd, a show I saw at the now non-existent Shubert Theater. I hated it... but the music has gotten to me.

Especially as I'm wondering what kind of frickin' show I'm working on next year... believe me, I'm worried about it. My outlining class begins in two days and I'm antsy to jump in again... doing the show and gave me a wonderful taste. I want the whole meal now!

People are teaming up, talking about stories, ideas, etc... and I'm hanging out there with some ideas I want to generate myself, so I'm waiting on getting collaborators... AARGHHHHHH! Be Thursday already!

In any case... I'm liking this song.

And hey, I just found an Australian documentary on Hugh Jackman playing Joe Gillis on youtube.com... would've loved to have seen him do this song (he talks/sings/rehearses it at 6:24 -- he was pretty young and perfect for it...



TOO MUCH IN LOVE TO CARE

BETTY
When I was a kid, I played on this street
I always loved illusion
I thought make-believe was truer than life
But now it's all confusion
Please, can you tell me what's happening?
I just don't know anymore
If this is real, how should I feel?
What should I look for?

JOE
If you were smart, you would keep on walking
Out of my life as fast as you can
I'm not the one you should pin your hopes on
You're falling for the wrong kind of man
This is crazy! You know we should call it a day
Sound advice, great advice
Let's throw it away

I can't control all the things I'm feeling
I haven't got a prayer
If I'm a fool, well
I'm too much in love to care

I knew where I was, I'd given up hope
Made friends with disillusion
No one in my life, but I look at you
And now it's all confusion

BETTY
Please, can you tell me what's happening?
I just don't know anymore
If this is real, how should I feel?
What should I look for?

I thought I had everything I needed
My life was set, my dreams were in place
My heart could see way into the future
All of that goes when I see your face

I should hate you
There I was, the world in my hand
Can one kiss, kiss away
Everything I planned?

I can't control all the things I'm feeling
I'm floating in mid-air
I know it's wrong, but,
I'm too much in love to care

JOE & BETTY
I thought I had everything I needed
My life was set, my dreams were in place
My heart could see way into the future
All of that goes when I see your face
This is crazy! You know we should call it a day

JOE
Sound advice

BETTY
Great advice

JOE & BETTY
Let's throw it away...
I can't control all the things I'm feeling
We're floating in mid-air
If we are fools, well,
We're too much in love to care
If we are fools, well,
We're too much in love to care!

Edited 7/8/07 to add video of Hugh doing Gaston in Beauty and the Beast... wish I coulda seen that!

All Done!

I wish I had a camera to take pictures of the beautiful flowers I got Lu, Mer and Heidi/Andrew... I feel blessed to have these much love in my house.

It's over. WHEW! Even MORE people there tonight, they were overflowing... and the casts were GREAT! So weird to have an opening and closing next to each other...

Jeff Marx said after the Tony awards he wrote a 12-page detailed account of his night so he'd never forget it -- and so he could share it.

But I can't write right now. I went to tonight's cast party, talked a lot, got intimidated a little, then couldn't stand being in my own skin, snuck out and talked to a friend from long ago who'd come tonight but had also been the very first reading of my very first play in its very first incarnation (there were four people listening and he was one of them). So he knew me "when" and he could speak specifics tonight, as well as SMACK. He calmed me down as I was parked somewhere in Sherman Oaks/Van Nuys... enough so I think I can lie down tonight and pretend to rest.

Actually, I got a little "emotional" seeing two actors walk off with each other tonight at the party... and I got an idea for show... so I'm going to jot some stuff down right now...

NOTE TO SELF: Why is it when I feel "emotions" -- I feel like the only relief or duty is to write/tell about it. Maybe I'm artist. Or maybe I just can't HANDLE all that drama... and I have to put in a show, in actors' mouths, to relieve myself of the pain...

Oops.

Okay... more later.

Congrats, Me!

One Show Down, One More to Go...

I'm very, very proud.

And then life gets normal again?

What IS normal anyway?

And I got a beautiful haircut.

Going Out of My Head

Last night I fell asleep (1) at the computer and then (2) in my living room chair, sitting up.

I'm feeling a bit loose in the old noggin' lately... I'm having a hard time relaxing, I hate lying down...

UGH. So I'm going out to play instead. Isn't 12:36 AM the magic hour anyway?

Health, Wealth, Love and Self-Expression

I can't even remember where I learned about that "four-square of life" -- was it Religious Science so many moons ago? In any case, I do remember that it's a way to check if your life is in balance. And what I figured out right now is that one box, the SELF-EXPRESSION one is full! Rich and so incredibly satisfying... this musical theater business is.

And guess what? That only shows you how incredibly OUT OF BALANCE all the other frickin' boxes are. All three of them...

I went back to my therapist after a few weeks off, and we'll have another few weeks off because of vacations, etc. We are also changing our time because I can't stand driving across LA for an 11AM appointment when I'm keeping these weird hours. But I did "reamed" this last time.

He said, "You know, I think it's time we really talk about what you came here for."

I curled up into a big ball on the couch.

"You're pretty much running your life the way you want it now, which is great and I have no judgments at all about it -- everything seems okay to you, and this musical theater actually makes you really happy. But you're not talking about what actually brought you here in the first place last year."

"Um..."

"I think you really want a relationship."

UGH. First thing I wanted to do is lash out: "No WAY! And I don't feel like to talking to YOU about it." But I'm no idiot... that was my first reactive and defensive thought. Next, it all came dripping out:

I cannot BEAR coming home to this lonely house anymore. It's not enough to just "long" for absolutely inappropriate and unavailable actors/muses. Or daydream about the great stories I'll tell through my music and plays... I'M ALREADY DOING THAT.

I want something real... A REAL RELATIONSHIP with someone who actually wants to be with ME... and that means I have to deal with the loathing of...

UGH, I can't even talk about it anymore. Barbra Streisand/Kristin Chenoweth's song "Nobody's Heart (Belongs to Me)" says it...

Nobody's heart belongs to me,
Heigh-ho! Who cares?
Nobody writes his songs to me,
No one belongs to me,
That's the least of my cares.

I may be sad at times,
And disinclined to play.
But it's not bad at time,
To go your own sweet way.

Nobody's arms belong to me,
No arms feel strong to me,
I admire the moon.
As a moon, just a moon.
Nobody's heart belongs to me today.

New Cain

It's been two weeks since we delivered our final draft and lots of things have happened since then... I'll catch up with it all later. (Going to a Tony Awards party and still debating whether or not I should slave over a hot stove and fry some lumpia...)

Went to my first rehearsal with and am so pleased to have met our new Cain, Brent Schindele. How did we luck out to get ANOTHER fantastic singer/actor -- the gods must be with us.

He's a whole different energy than Christopher Carothers, which didn't take long to get used to at all. But it does show me how DIFFERENT a role can be depending on the performer. I don't know if we would've written it any different if we'd seen Brent first -- he's quite the energetic one and very funny... Christopher was more "sensitive" and has a sweet quality to his singing -- but sadly, Christopher also never got a fully-realized script to work from.

Anyhoo, I'm quite pleased -- more than pleased -- with how the whole show is going. Michele Spears, our director is TERRIFIC, and gets that our play can handle all the "BIGNESS" (yes, it's that broad of a play... who knew?).

I was given a Christmas present last night of seeing the show "Wicked" again in Hollywood -- right after this fab rehearsal -- mind you, and I was in HEAVEN. I told Lu that I've never been so happy in my life -- I'VE FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING I LOVE, UNEQUIVOCALLY! It's such a relief -- and yes, such bliss.

I am so looking forward to this next week and sharing it with my friends and family... and I'm already brewing about my next project (after the recital, of course!). Brew, brew...

P.S. I'm not gonna fry lumpia -- I'll bring purple (ube) ice cream instead. Trying to stay stress-free!

Closing Night Party

The Red Team had its final reading last night. As we had Triple Mousse Cake from Porto's for Kellen's birthday, someone mentioned it felt like a closing night party!

Each of the three mini-musicals had done absolutely wonders the last 10 days after the Second Assessment -- and we all had very tight, lovely shows! "The Liar" went first and was an impressive 21 minutes so they (we all) have two days to make 6 minutes of cuts. It's so wonderful to "get" that show now -- it's really clear and sweet and I actually like the main character, "Melvin."

"In the Nick of Time" (formerly "Mamarama") came in at an amazing 16 minutes -- amazing because after the First Assessment it came in at 31! They basically cut their show in half, and ended up with such an original, fast-moving -- and ultimately very touching show! The last song, Nickety Nick, really moved me in its simplicity and lyric... it came at the perfect time in the show and was set up beautifully... I'm still so impressed with this show! Hillary, the lyricist, could not believe it was possible to cut it when it was 22 minutes, but her collaborators, married couple Darin and Tara, have been writing and producing children's musicals for years now, and they did a fine job of making a super-tight, edgy show.

Our show -- I never had so much fun! I, like Kellen, was worried that what we thought was funny to us was ONLY funny to us -- working so hard on something you don't know if you're perspective works correctly. Fortunately, Elise and Scott, who played all five parts, picked up the "timbre" of script right away. They played it for the comedy -- quick, madcap, melodrama -- that it was, as after two or three speeches into the first scene, I closed my book, relaxed and enjoyed the show.

Okay, that was an understatement -- IT WAS A HOOT and I was laughing my guts out! YAY! The show was out of our hands and into the hands of professionals -- and it's funny!!! I was knee-slapping at the very end... and fortunately, not just because we wrote it, but because it was a success.

We came in at a surprising 19:58 -- five minutes of cuts tonight and we're done.

Whew. It was a great Closing Night Party. Now we go into a different phase -- production. And as a writer -- well, we're basically consultants now. That's okay.

As Maureen says in her blog, gotta start thinking about next year.

Final Draft Assessment (for TIME)

The directors of the Academy will be singing/reading the Red Team's final draft tonight for time (we have to be at 15 minutes - last night we timed at 22-23 ourselves) -- holy shit, I AM EXHAUSTED. [But at least all the copies are made, we'll be there on time, and we have one last chance to make our final changes before script is locked this Thursday (May 24)].

WOW -- Not a lot of sleep, completely obsessed about this show and everything it entails -- from getting tickets, to writing every night, to getting gas money to go out to Santa Monica, to being fed all the time by our wonderful host, Myrna, to show night guests, to what the hell am I wearing, to Actors Nightmare dreams, to wondering if our new Cain will be able to sing a high Bb well, and wondering what the old Cain is... no, that's stopping right now.

And what May 23rd means: NO MORE LA-LA LAND FOR ME NOW. Time to grow up.

Tomorrow is our lyricist Kellen's birthday -- he shares it with Ilia, and May 23rd has always been a big marker for me too. So it's completely appropros that I'm priviledged to meet and work with such a wunderkind as Kellen -- oh yes, did I mention that's he's brilliant, clever, kind, and incredibly funny? Life is good -- talk about a breath of fresh air.

The pictures are from our Palm Springs working (and mostly moving) weekend -- check out our working setup! Myrna was behind the camera most of the time -- avoiding get her pic taken!

Cain

We found out today at the assessment that we may lose our Cain -- Christopher Carothers -- to another job. We're devastated, and I can barely contain myself. Do all writers/producers go through this disappointment when shit happens in the middle of a project? Because it's unbearable.

I did get to hear "See the Light" sung by him though. What an absolute joy.

Edited to add:

I've journaled, I've sent emails, I've shed many a... well, I've had my pouty day already. As heartbreaking as it all still is, we're meeting tonight to fix our show.

Edited even later to add:

I got the .mp3 of yesterday's assessment and his performance. The arrangement wasn't complete, some melodies have changed... but there it is. I will at least have this crazy .mp3 of the way it's supposed to be sung. Thanks, Christopher.

And our meeting tonight -- what a strong outline we have now! Very proud of my team.

"See the Light"

Coming into rehearsal tonight by myself, I ran into the tail end of the Performers Workshop last-day-of-class party and saw my man, Sylvin, who sang my song at the cabaret a few months back.

What a joy to see him! He kissed and hugged me and we were all smiles and at the moment it seemed like we were each the President of The Mutual Appreciation Society! I adore the man... and the fact that he's sung the role of Lt. Cable in South Pacific -- well, that's pretty dreamy, dontcha think?

Not that I want that same reaction exactly (MAUREEN and JEFFREY G!), I swear.

BTW, here's the last big number we're working on (power ballad time!) called "See the Light." The lyrics are so darn funny (Kellen, aka Genius Boy) but I'll just give you the music for right now. It still makes me a bit goose-bumpy because of the fellow who inspired it (I'll never tell -- not here anyway)... this only the first two "A" sections.

Hope you like it.

"See the Light"

Edited to add: Okay, okay, I'll be honest with myself. These ballad-y type of things remind me that YES, someday I DO want to be in love and be loved by the appropriate guy. There. I said it. Someday.

"Phobias and Fetishes"

First of all, here's the poster/info for the show(s). Don't let the spider or the foot scare you -- just CLICK ON PHOTO to read!

Wow, what a wild week it's been.

My collaborators and I went to Palm Springs to stay at Myrna's timeshare -- but she could only get into on Sunday. So we got there Saturday night, stayed in a hotel with our desktop PC, electronic keyboard and midi set-up, printer, one lap top, one roll-up piano, two beds and a lot of snacks. Then after what we jokingly call "sleeping together and snoring together" (of course the snoring was just ME), we checked out, had lunch, then finally got to the beautiful timeshare (that IMHO had way too many kids at it).

We set up all our gear again, as Myrna says: "At least we get to look outside AT the pool." At one point I felt like I was in college again: we were all in the same room, but working on all our separate chores. Kellen was on the couch on his laptop with the lyrics, Myrna was on the PC fixing the book, and I was sitting at the coffee table with a pair of headsets on and the roll-up piano trying to use a miserable motif all the composers had to use. (Gb-Ab-Bb-E-Db-G -- yikes!) But it was cool to work like that... at any time we could ask our collaborator a question and not call a meeting or a email or dial them up. Just holler. :)

[In any case, I highly recommend going off somewhere with your collaborators early in the process. No distractions, and there's nothing like a shared obsession to bond writing partners together like this! Although we all get away from each other if we needed it (especially Kellen had to get away from us yakkety girls), it was a great experience. I will almost demand it next time I start up another musical (ooh, did I just say that?!?)...]

Then we had to leave at 1:00 pm, no matter what, for the two-hour drive back to LA. Kellen drove, Myrna and he yakked, I snored some more. Then we hauled all that stuff back upstairs, Kell left because he had to work in the a.m. Myrna and I worked more until about 5:00 when we both napped, and then I drove her downtown to work at 7:00 am.

And we still had to get our 12 copies of the script/music in by 10:30 pm that night! Yikes! Our goal was to have a full, complete script with all the music (no lyrics standing alone), even if the songs themselves weren't completely realized (accompaniment done) but at least there would be a melody. So we reached that goal. But it nearly killed us -- all 94 pages worth -- and nearly gave Kellen a heart attack. Poor guy! And he had to film us (as he did the whole weekend) for the darn documentary -- I dropped Myrna off and he shot video of her running into the ANMT door at 10:21 pm. UGH. If we didn't get it in, we would have lost this whole next rehearsal period and had to wait for our final draft assessment... that would have been terrible.

I know we're going to be long for Saturday's assessment -- unfortunate too, because Kell and I weren't able to read the book before we got published. Drat. Oh well, next assessment. And then I made some dumb mistakes in not changing some dialogue and lyrics in the score... oh, the formatting tedious is so sometimes, I just want scream.

Oh wait, I did that -- scream. A lot. And swore a lot too and got pretty dang testy (at myself). Hopefully you won't see my bleeped-out ass all over that docu, but who knows...

===

In any case, last night we went to the first rehearsal we (the writers) were allowed to go to... and some songs were a joy to hear being sung. My favorite new one is "See the Light" that's still not finished (we'll be hear a lot of melody being plunked out on Saturday)...

Today I was feeling a bit melancholy as I knew it was time to let our "baby" go live in the actors. Which is great -- as I've said before, I'm tired of hearing myself hum this stuff. It so strange, we were sitting there, and I THINK they knew we were the "Naked Truth" writers... but we were barely acknowledged as such by them. That was really weird! I'm not used to that... when I'm in production, I want to say hello to everyone and know who the hell everyone is there and what they do and thank them for it. But it wasn't the case last night and it felt awkward not to be even the slightest noticed.

I can't say I didn't try though... except for one actress who slipped away before I could say hello, I did connect with all them for a moment. But I don't know if they know that I'm the composer and Myrna's the book writer. Because one girl asked me all the book questions, and Myrna was pointing out a few "key signature" mistakes to the music director... hey, two Filipino women yakking about different things, who's to know which "M" does music and which "M" does book.

In any case, I'll keep smiling and saying hello. Maybe at the end they'll notice that our work for them was good. I hope so.

BTW, I forgot how much energy it takes to be in production... and I find it's just as crazy when I'm on this side of it -- the writing side. I sleep and dream this 15-minute musical -- music/dialogue/lyrics run through me all day and night... and it's exhausting. And even though we've not reached our peak yet (we still have one more final draft) or gone into final rehearsals -- I'm already sad about it all ending. This collaboration process has been one of the biggest learning processes of my life... and I can't believe this particular one, with my main man, Kellen, and our "Keys Emata"... I can't believe it's gonna be over soon.

===

I will say it's been great yakking with my friends about coming to the show(s). I'm so proud of our little work, and so many folks are coming to see it. I'm not used to the idea yet that they're going to spend $25 a ticket to see anything I did... but I'm sure I'll get used to it! Jeff Marx is a big draw (the co-creator of the Tony award-winning "Avenue Q" -- he's a very funny and humble guy!) -- and although most of my friends and family don't know him or the show (yet!), they certainly know what a "Tony award-winner" is!

And then there's this documentary. Oh boy. It's following the young lyricist, Kellen -- and since I'm on his team, me and my Big Self (are in it a lot). Unfortunately, Little/Slim Self has not been seen for awhile, so I'm just going to have to eat it on this particular show (excuse the analogy!)....
In any case, if you're planning to come, do buy your tickets quickly as it always sells out and next week all kinds of PR is going out.

Oh, just got a bit of the nerves again!...

"Mama's Mantra"

We had our first assessment this past weekend, after hearing our actors sing and read ... what a joy to hear something you've created out of your head actually manifest and be interpreted through professionals!

The RED Team has three musicals, and all three went up -- happy to say we came in the closest to time (15 minutes), but of course, we didn't have all our songs done either. I unfortunately goofed with our lead, Cain -- I didn't think he was as much a tenor as he was, so I'm just hiking up his music up a third or a fourth. He'd auditioned with "Joanna" from Sweeney Todd (lovely tenor!) but did The Beast from Beauty and the Beast too (strong, strong baritone as well!), so I didn't even pay attention to range. My mistake. Such a gorgeous voice -- I gotta take advantage of it! Take a gander here:

Christopher singing "The Christmas Song"

I love me a man that sings! (Yes, Maureen, I KNOW he's married, that's not the point, the boy's got a voice! :)

===

After the actors left and commented on their roles (same five actors in all three shows), we proceeded with our two-hour/per show assessments. Not such a bad experience for us -- there were a lot of clarity issues re: story, but only for the better, and pretty good about the music and lyrics.

Did I ever mention the title of our show?

"Cain and Abel: The Naked Truth"

We've met about our restructuring, and "Mama's Mantra," the lullaby I tortured myself with earlier, has been cut. :( I teasingly tell our lyricist that that's the LAST TIME I ever write a piece before I get a lyric because it's too easy for them to "disappear"!

But it's true -- it slows the show down (which is comedy DEATH) and doesn't really pay off. Oh well. Hopefully I'll use it again somewhere, sometime.

Hope you like it.

"Mama's Mantra"

What a nightmare!

I've spent all night researching and listening to lullabies so I could be go off and be intuitive and write 16 bars (or rather 32 -- AABA format). I even talked to Mom about her singing... she was just "too busy" to sing to me:

"Besides, honey, you were a good baby. I gave you milk and you were happy. And if I was asleep, you'd play quietly in your crib as long as you could see that I was there."

Even though she couldn't remember her own mother singing and especially her never having time to rock any of us (except the youngest who was a bit sickly and uncomfortable), it was cool to talk about this. I don't feel like she plowed me with milk to shut me up (my original excuse for growing up fat -- which is a lie anyway since I was a skinny kid!), but she actually had a nice memory of back then. That's not usually her strong point, Mom is a no-nonsense, let's get work the done kind of gal. (But I also know why too: she was always disobeying her own mother so she could go out and play! hehehe Hence, the music to Pilya...)

In any case, I'm having a hard time starting this damn thing and have a terrible headache and case of cabin fever. So I'm buying batteries for my roll-up piano, bringing some headphones and going to the park or the library.

I just need to have something on paper for my collaborators TODAY or I'm in deep scheduling poop.

Oh, and by the way, the very last thing Mom said is she does remember her mom humming/mumbling or singing something to her little brother to get him to sleep, but it wasn't anything that had words or a tune she could remember.

Wow, validation... isn't that cool?!

Lullaby

Hi Heidi and Viv,

I'm writing you two because you were in class when I wrote "Lily" -- the piece that I still hum to Kate at bedtime?

Well, I'm working on a lullaby for the mini-musical tonight and look what I read in wikipedia:

Asia has its own versions of the lullaby as well. In Tamil (a language of southern India), a lullaby is called a thaalattu (thal means "tongue"). A melodious sound is created by frequent movement of the tongue at the beginning of the song, hence the name.

But most notably is the use of the oyayi in the Philippines, also called huluna in Batangas. In fact, the use of a song in putting a baby to sleep is so popular that almost every mother in the province is said to have composed at least one lullaby for her child.

So I don't know if I should be mad or assume my mom had one and just forgot? I know when she had her first grandchild she could only come up with church hymms in English... but she was always singing to get the baby to sleep... so maybe I'm not so "left out" after all...

I feel very comforted for some reason, and wanted to share.

Ricardo NO ESTA AQUI

I went to the diner to get my birthday wishes :) tonight... and he's not there. Fired they said.

I'm bummed.

I've emailed him and hope he emails back, but he's not done that yet... so he's probably gone forever, unless I run into him at the laundrymat or Albertson's.

Oh well. It was nice while it lasted.

Adios, Ricardo. :(

Happy Belated Birthday to me!

(BTW, aren't those are cool candles -- look at the color-coordinated glow! They're from The Glow Company in the UK.)

My my, I really have work on this "time" thing -- I'm even late for my own birthday!

It went to bed pretty late but had to get up to see my shrink... man, I hate that, it really screws with my (albeit weird) sleep. I barely made it back without falling sleep somewhere in Hollywood, but took a delicious nap in the afternoon.

[Oh, the best birthday present: after four drafts of our outline for the mini-musical and oodles of hours in meetings in person, on the phone and emails, we got greenlit this morning to move on to the rough draft. YAY! That was also delicious.]

By the time I woke up, my collaborator, bookwriter Myrna, did a down and dirty rough draft of the book, and she and lyricist, Kellen, took me out to an Indian dinner. YUM!

We got back to Kellen's house at 11:30, shot a little footage for the documentary then spotted our songs til 4:00 am... we're pretty much on schedule now and I managed to get a little nauseous because we started talking about the music... my area. The thought of all that responsibility made me a bit crazy, until Myrna assured me we'd all be in all of it together. Thank goodness she and Kellen are so even-keeled and respectful... I'm a bit "wowed" at how well we're working together.

Anyhoo, more on that process later... just wanted to share what this year's birthday was like so I don't forget. Funny thing about birthdays... they're really "just another day" -- and yet they're so, so special, no matter who I spend it with or what I do. I guess it's the one day I get to celebrate ME without any guilt! LOL

This is what 80 looks like!

It was a wild success -- talk about leaving them wanting more! Ran out of appetizers. (Filipinos don't understand the concept and stuff their plates -- I didn't find out until very late that I couldn't get them french-passed). Ran out of cake. (The hat was mango/mango filling, the jewelry box was mocha/macapuno filling and the hatbox was chocolate/chocolate mousse filling -- and everyone wanted more than one piece!) The fashion show with my mom's clothes over 50 years was a smash... and people just hung out and hung out!

Mom looks great, doesn't she?

It's almost been a week and I'm just now getting back to "normal." I learned a lot this time around... for what I envisioned and what I actually executed... oh, I gotta stop it beating myself up for what it wasn't... thing is, I get my perfectionism from my mother...

Oh heck: It was lovely!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! :)

A Guadalajara Sun

So I just came back from the diner... and yakked all night with Ricardo (from Guadalajara, which is where this "sun" is from)...

Read hands. Had fun! Exhausted because of stuff to do for Mom's party, but envigorated from the reading... felt like I was back in my own skin again, finally. Gotta do that more often!

Hasta luego-- :)

Cinderella, and a Guitar Gently Weeping

It must be that full moon again.

Went to the Pisces full moon meditation tonight and ended up going out to Hollywood and eating outside on picnic benches with Maria at a tasty (and packed) Mexican food stand, El Gran, on Santa Monica and Vermont... wow, cheap and delicious! How fun was that.

But Pisces being Pisces... fluid, dreamy, nebulous, vast... I had to come home to do some composing for the next assignment. Looking for music in a ballroom setting (1700-1800s or so), and ended up at YouTube watching the Cinderella of my childhood and her Prince, Stuart Damon.



Wow, could not stop crying... I love this song... and whatever it is that it brings up in me...

A quick aside -- almost 20 years ago I was at a "meeting" of sorts and ended up sitting next to an older Stuart Damon... and we had to hold hands for a few minutes... and I remember thinking to myself, "My God, I'm holding hands with fucking PRINCE CHARMING!" hehehe How did he get away from me?! -- or rather, where is he now?!?!?

Of course, without realizing it, my idea of a "Prince" was formed by seeing this version of Cinderella and Mr. Damon. But I can't let go of Paolo Montalban either (I wrote about him ad infinitum already) but of course, I have to put his version here also.



I never ever believed a Prince -- or a love -- could be Filipino. Until I saw that.

===

Or maybe it's just that I love that song... AHA AHA Rodgers and Hammerstein! And I do love those tenors.

Help.

Lastly, today... here's a gift my brother, Mike, shared with me. George Harrison being channeled by ukelele virtuoso, Jake Shimabukuro.



Tonight the guitar, ukelele and I -- we all weep.

Edited: 3/5 to include:

To bring it all together and talking about PRINCES, check out the PRINCE lick at the end... it's a tribute on VH1 to George Harrison with Tom Petty and others, and even George's son (his doppelganger!) is on stage too (can't miss him). PRINCE KICKS ASS!

Donny and Al

I can't believe my nine-year-old nephew Kevin turned me on to this video -- it's on his MySpace (where he says he's 16...)!

First, here's the finished product: "White and Nerdy"



But it's THIS GREEN SCREEN I found today that has me ROTFLMAO....



Wait til the end... Donny's in good shape for a soon-to-be 50-year-old man, I CAN'T KEEP MY EYES OFF OF HIM!!!

"Illusion Ends"

Wow, what a night!

Just got back from the MBar in Hollywood where the Academy of New Musical Theatre had the final class of the Performer's Workshop. These performers were also introduced to some of the pieces written for by the Specialty Music Workshop folks that I "accidentally" (?) got into -- I thought it was just another free class, when at the end of the first Saturday, they said "Composers, please stand." So I did. Then: "Lyricists, go get yourself a composer and start writing!"

When they asked for music, I wanted to turn in the song I'd already written wrote for my writing class, "Elephant Man" exercise. The lyricist, Patricia Zehentmayr, agreed, and off it went through the selection process... and three people liked it and considered it for their set! Three months later I find out... yay! It's still in the program!

And boy did we luck out -- Sylvin Janson was terrific! Truly, one of the strongest performers there, and for my money (she said modestly), he had the best set of all. He walked on there with the confidence that many of the "newer" performers lacked, so immediately, the audience (and my guests and me!) relaxed.

My concern about the song was that it wouldn't work outside the context of "Elephant Man" -- that was what the majority of the notes we were given brought up. "It's haunting, but what does it mean?" Short of completely rewriting it -- well, we did nothing. I crossed my fingers very tightly walking into the venue tonight.

But one of the first people I see is Sylvin. He comes up with a huge hug and I tell him I'm so happy he's doing it. He says he loves it, and based his whole set on it! I gulp. I have no idea what to expect -- except that I know it will be sung well.

Well who knew the guy was a writer too? The "patter" between his songs and their set-ups were handled by an absolute pro... talking about dreaming, illusions, dog walking, paint ("The FUMES!" :)... and to finally end on "Illusion Ends" -- he did more with it than I could ever have imagined. His whole lead-in to the song was beautiful and profound, and absolutely smooth from what came before.

I was so proud -- of me, of Patricia, of the Academy, of Sylvin... my "baptism by fire" could not have ended better. I told him after the show he did wonders, I was so happy, and heck yeah, I want to work with him again! He said over and over that he loves it... what a great feeling that it is for me! I'm finding out that's how these colloborations work... this was a great one.

Now I'm going to write him a thank you note -- and tell GO FORTH and make us lots of money! LOL

Thanks again, Sylvin... you made me forget that I thought I was a crappy composer. Not one muscle or blood cell in me believes that anymore.

===

EDITED 2/22: A note from Elise, the Associate Artistic Director, to the writers included this:

Sly also did a really lovely job on "The Illusion Ends". I’m so glad you (Patricia) made it just in time to hear Sly’s haunting delivery – and congrats also to Madley. What a gorgeous song. And Sly’s set-up made it all make so much sense in context. I heard several people around me saying "What a beautiful song!"

Beautiful?! Wow, BEAUTIFUL!!! A word I've ached to hear regarding... anything.

Feeling so grateful right now...

===

EDITED 2/23: A note from Patricia, our lyricist; EDITED 3/18 to remove names:

I got feedback from [SNIP] who all said ours was the best song in the show! [SNIP] They said Sylvin was the best performer.

OMG, this is real! There were mighty big folk at this show.... gulp, gulp... :)

===

EDITED: 3/16 because you've been asking:

Illusion Ends

One Pancake, Two Eggs and one Fried Madley

I'm so used to getting my energy up at 9:00 pm and going to bed around 6:00 or 7:00 am -- I sit at my computer and actually do creative work (music, web stuff, etc.). But today I got up early because I had a checklist of things to work on... and now at 3:35 am THIS GIRL IS FRIED.

Of course I had to get something to eat, but because I'm feeling lousy and alone and not immersed in work, it was all comfort food at the coffee shop -- did I mention the chocolate milk, the ice water for chewing and the mint I'm sucking on now? The thought of all that grosses me out and I'm hardly comforted.

Maybe I had to get over Valentine's Day... ah, The Great Debate. "My choices have been fine in life," "If I was meant to have kids, I'd already had them," "You're an artist and healer, love must mean something else to you."

Bullshit.

I feel like hell, I'm wired beyond belief with the amount of work I've been doing (good work, not schlocky shit!) and I'm just plain lonely.

Yuck.

Whew!

Have been waiting all day to hear the news about my Uncle Tim Medina -- Mom and Dad went with his wife to the hospital at 1:00 am this morning because he was unresponsive to her touch... They called me at 8:50 and 9:00 am this morning and EVERYONE who knows me knows I am VERY ASLEEP at that time of the morning so when I heard the phone ring, I assume it's not good news. But I couldn't reach them.

Uncle Tim and Auntie Li are my parents closest friends nowadays. They live about 1/4 mile from each other and have been having fun during their retirement years, gambling, travelling, playing poker. They both even played along with me to make a mini-video for my parents 45th anniversary. (Click on the photo and take a gander, they're so sweet!)

After getting a zillion busy signals, I finally reach my mom.

"It's been busy for a half an hour, Mom."

"Oh, everyone's calling because of Tim."

"So... how is he?"

"He's okay, honey. Just a mild stroke. He knows your Auntie Li's name and his sister's name, but he didn't know ours. But that's okay. He's able to get up, he's just a little confused right now. The doctor asked him how tall he was and he said 7'6" -- and of course, Auntie Li jumped in and said, "Honey, you're not a basketball player!"

Mom said they stayed with them from 1:00 to 9:00 am until some of their family could come, and when they went back to the hospital in the evening, the place was packed. Uncle Tim will be celebrating his 80th birthday this year, a few months after Mom does... lots of people are there to wish him and apparently he's going to be okay for awhile.

That's good, good news. I just didn't want to hear that another uncle had gone.

And I'm right in the middle of planning a big birthday bash for Mom's 80th on March 24... everything is just getting so "mortal" right now...

I'll write again about me and my "musical" music sometime... just feeling blue and under the weather. I've been so stressed at the amount of web work I have to do, plus music to write my head is spinning. I've got to learn how to shut it all off without eating like a horse or drinking like fish or my body is going to scream.

Kulik and his Krew-tons

It's been two days and I'm still recovering from the Krew Konvention weekend here in L.A. -- two Stars on Ice shows, a fantastic program "Too Darn Hot", many meals, brunch with His Krewness and a lovely run-in with his mom and sis.

All after five years of not being in touch at all.

Yes, still need recovery. My head is spinning.

Playin' my sleep

Oh gosh, I'm only 10% awake... good riddance on the typing.

Just woke up in my new desk chair having dreamed up a whole summer camp musical type thing... it was written, rehearsed and all performed while I've been sitting here asleep... probably isnpired by Dreamgirls last night...

The Big G.A. was in it (you know, the 4th grade crush boy)... and I was trying to get kids interested in being in it... Lots of dancers/singers... like "Grease" last night too... interviewing people in now... it's a "phenomenon"... wish I could remember...