My Own Private Nagano

I finally got my jury date today for my November 28 recital, after weeks of asking for it... I knew it was coming. Today confirmed -- Halloween at 3:30 in Prof Myers office.

My nerves are shot. I can't calm myself down.

So I call for down-to-earth support... and got exactly what I needed.

"Remember Ilia at Nagano. Mental discipline. Ten days of focussing on being focussed, to push the fear out, to get rid of the nerves. Be a machine. You can do it. Focus on being focussed."

So I have my notebook. I'm focussed, because the only other choice is fear, and complete breakdown. I put this picture of him the second he finished his winning long program right at my desk/piano. Thanks, Nancy -- thanks, Kulik.

Seisouso

Just because...



I saw this program being created in the summer of 1998 almost daily through the viewfinder of Ilia's video recorder. He didn't have a coach at that time and wanted to review his practices... how lucky was I?

Yes, THAT lucky.

Oh, and here's one nice piece from 1998:


Enjoy!

Skating, Family-Style

My skating girlfriends couldn't wait for me to see "Kristi Yamaguchi's Family and Friends" special and one of them sent me a tape.

"Get ready to laugh!" she said on the post-it in the package.

It was lovely to see Ilia with his family, as well Katia skating (pairs) with Daria. That will always be a heart-ringer, that pair... she's beginning to look like her mom did when she started competing and winning... and of course, she's the spitting image of her dad.

And Ilia...he's got a clone in her daughter. What a character she is.

I didn't laugh though... I just cried. All these kids, the skaters I grew up with...and spouses, their babies. It was so very heartfelt and warm...

All I could feel was "Why didn't this happen to me?"

Meeting Ice Skater

A long time ago a friend of mine from Cosby told me every now again her and her friend, Tera, used to have dreams at night about each other, on the same night. They'd always laugh and say they were "havin' a meetin'" -- just out of the body and in the dreamworld instead, and it wasn't any less real than in the waking world. Every since then, I've loved thinking that way about dreams.

So, boy, did I have a "meetin'" with The Skater, Iliushka last night!

I've been working very hard this week on the calendar that his fan club is selling to its members, and either my brain is fully IK images or there was a real meeting of the minds last night.

I got dropped off at his big house for some reason -- and it's loaded with women: the women of his family. His wife, his daughters, his inlaws, aunts (but none on his side). I guess I need reinforcements because Diane and Rick from up north are there too, and somehow keep me grounded. I guess I'm there to do an interview.

"The women" all speak Russian and are milling about all over the place, ready to make a trip to the store or something. It's foggy outside so it's a big to-do with everyone bundling up. It's not quiet at all, but nobody even pays attention that I'm there, both good and bad I suppose. Finally they leave and I'm left in the house with him, my friends watching TV with and his four-year-old daughter.

We really get to hang then, and the guy is both laughing and complaining, just like old times at the rink. How he feels he's never left Russia now, how he regrets not being able to discover the America he's always dreamed of...when he came to L.A. to be an actor and a star, right after he won his Gold Medal...

That was a long time ago that we could hang and talk like that. I know he has a life he loves, with all the women of his life. But after tonight's dream, I can't help thinking about that road of his less taken.

And selfishly, maybe we would have had many more heart-to-hearts after the practices at the rink. I miss those.