Discombobulated

Fell sleep at 6:30 this morning, then shot out of bed at 8:45 wide awake, energetic. Maybe it was just manic. God "said" get your ass to church so I was there in 20 minutes.

The rest of the day is haze. Got in a mess with my dad (absolutely my fault), and I've been sitting in the muck of it (after the apologies, head hangin' low and giving each other space -- AKA avoiding the hell out of... well, you know).

That's when I realized I've let myself slip again -- not taking care of myself, not paying attention to my own wants and needs. Like not taking my meds consistently since Simbang Gabi. I could be reacting physically to not having my drugs, not eating right, and definitely not moving.

No wonder I feel like crap. Put an emotional conflict on top of that? I just want to run. Or hide. Or both. Hence today's tweet:

Simple Blessing #6: Driving around at 2:45 am, listening to LA talk radio, thinking (or not) and just being my old vampire self.

I don't like that "ME" much anymore, but tonight... it was like an old comfortable pair of sneakers. I just want to get out.