Posting

I hate that I haven't been able to keep up my once-a-day-post-for-30-days schedule -- it only shows me how (1) difficult a writing schedule that is (2) difficult a commitment that is and (3) how hard it is to keep a commitment to myself like that is.

Of all the things I'm incredibly busy with -- the fact that I've not put this first priority really bothers me... I feel like "Fuck it, you screwed up, fuck it all to hell!" But I won't. I'm here, aren't I? Yup.

And even though I'm not supposed to worry about who reads this... the deeper I go into feelings and stories... the more I'm hesitant to write. Too many people involved, too many feelings to be hurt, too many secrets to be revealed...

I can't even "fictionalize" stuff because so many people know the real players... argh. Guess I have to be old and gray(er) before I expel any of these tales... suffice it to say, I've got no more tears left this week... I'm plum dried out and too busy. Catch me next week after projects are done and hearts have had time to heal.

Oh, an up-note and in a nutshell: Saw a terrific Korean movie called Oldboy that blew my socks off; and I met Mr. 2009 Philippines USA, Kapono Kobylanski, tonight at launch party for Hey! Magazine (and who definitely is NOT an old boy). Great evening...