Lying down for a few hours...

Yvette drank tons of water and then threw it up because she drank too fast and is burping up a storm and wheezing... Bad mother, waited too long between drinks. But she's got energy back in her, that's a good sign. Now all that water's gotta come out... I've got garbage bag liners and paper towels in the bedroom all set up... oh boy.

==

I realized tonight what I've done over the years for my family as presents because I didn't have any money -- but it's significant.

A family tree
A historical family calendar
A website
Personal greeting cards

Over the years I just realized that I've been trying to "elevate" my family and myself in it, all under the name of "preserving history." Isn't that cool... I'm the spinster/historian/arty-farty aunt -- all looking for my parents' approval and acceptance!

My goodness, I just realized that. No wonder I have no family of my own -- I'm still working on the one I had.

AAAARRGGGHHH! What a thing to figure out after all these years... guess it takes all this time alone for it to even come a knockin'...

Well, I KNOW I DON'T WANT A LIFE LIKE THAT/THIS ANYMORE. So moving forward am I. And I can tell this is going to be the hardest year of my life.