Bob-a-licious

WOO HOO! I love my hair in a bob, and this one's got long shaggy layers underneath (that you can't see). Lookie, R, I got a bob again! Tell me you love it!

Nice poundage lost after a month at the gym... and lost a ton at the salon! I couldn't help myself, my hair looked so BAD... and then of course I walk by and it says "Women's Haircuts start at $14.99."

I'm no dummy, I know that means we'll bargain... so of course I pulled out my "living as a student and poor" story that really is no story, and the lovely Armenian Rosa gave me a good deal. I said no blow dry, but hell when you're in the chair, it's hard to say no. So I'm happy. It's so funny, I would've hauled out the scissors myself if I didn't already know from EXPERIENCE it never ends well.

Felt good though... at least it wasn't SUPERCUTS where they nickel and dime you to death. This from a woman who used to go to Alex Roldan at the Bel Age Hotel on Sunset in Beverly Hills, or with Salazar wherever he would end up. I LOVE SPENDING OODLES OF MONEY IN SALONS! But only when you have real money to spend. My money is not my own right now.

But I think I'll treat myself once a month to a little something. She of course said she'd give me a deal on microdermabrasion... hell, it made my one girlfriend look TONS younger and softer... what the hey, why grow older and uglier?

Got to make some real money again. This feels too good.

A Seducer? Who, ME?!

Your Seduction Style: Sweet Talker

Your seduction technique can be summed up with "charm"You know that if you have the chance to talk to someone...Well, you won't be talking for long! ;-) You're great at telling potential lovers what they want to hear.Partially, because you're a great reflective listener and good at complementing.The other part of your formula? Focusing your conversation completely on the other person. Your "sweet talking" ways have taken you far in romance - and in life.You can finess your way through any difficult situation, with a smile on your face.Speeding tickets, job interviews... bring it on! You truly live a *charmed life*

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Half-Nekkid Thursday #5

It's not me this time, but according to the rules, I'm allowed to TAKE an HNT shot, which I did!

This is after dinner at a Oaxacan restaurant and we had the requisite tootsie pops (Hi Viv!). Happy HNT, all!

Spurred Heart

It's amazing, after all these classes...

I'm supposed to be a "healer" and "artist" and all around "ulnar person" (which means focussed on the inner world of intimacy and creation, as opposed to outward success and power).

And yet I'm reminded this week JUST HOW SHITTY AT RELATIONSHIPS I AM.

I've got the protective armour of a dinosaur too... and I cringe at the expectations I continually discover I have of myself.

It's horrible.

I really wanted to get to know this fellow -- let's call him Uranian, some people will know who this is, others who know astrology will know what he's about...

We've been spending nice time together, nice LONG time, hours even... and I've got it in writing... yes, I bring joy to his belly! Pretty good for a perfectionist like him to have a change of heart and attitude, eh... I'm not bad.

But the next day, I was wiped out... no self-take care on my part... bad news. Could barely function and took myself to a friend's for two and a half day to coddle myself. (Thanks Chiquitita!) But saw him again...

And knew I would "just be a friend." AAGH! (And yes, those are my lips. He said he liked them. Merde!)

He was one of the aforementioned new male "grown ups" I've gotten to know recently... and no, I guess I'm not for him. Part of me wants to blame myself... what did I do? What did I do too much of? Did I flirt too much, make too many innuendos? Am I just always going to be disgusting and fat and someone UNLIKE his mother who makes him feel so totally unseen?

Because now I feel unseen too, and that's what's most painful: HERE WE GO AGAIN.

Me without love.

Too much crying lately... I can't take all the goodbyes that are happening this month. Hand class is ending -- good, because I hated the commitment, but I'm saying goodbye to a structure that held me for four years.

The apartment I've been living in for ten and a half years -- up for sale. Where will I live? With who? How?

God, I'm feeling sorry for myself... I just want to have a partner... be with one man that knows me, sees me, holds me. I'm so lost right now, and really, really sad...

I just don't know how to do it. How do people keep their heart OPEN?! Eight weeks of Alchemy of Love and I still don't know how to do it.

In writing

I just have to put it in writing... I have to marry for LOVE. That's it, nothing else will do, as good as it may sound sometimes.

Cryptic I know, but for today...Hey.

Rent

Just came back from a DGA screening of RENT with Gonz at the Pacific Design Center ("the Blue Whale") in West Hollywood. I can't believe I've lived here since 1978 and I've never been there... except maybe once to see if they had change for the parking meters. Well, it is a design industry showroom... why would I be there?

Anyhoo, the place was packed, and with a mixed crowd, not just the old white folks (read: ancient SAG members) who were at Steve Martin's "Shopgirl." And after the first song, which acted like an overture, the audience applauded like crazy, me included, as if it were the first song in a live a musical. It was thrilling.

(Check out the "Seasons of Love" video here -- "measure your life in love" -- how cool (and innocent!) is that?! :)

Oh yeah, and I cried like a baby during that thing too, right when Tracie Thoms starts a-wailing. What else is new... a musical overture and me is definitely a recipe for weeping.

Why is that? Am I reincarnated frustrated musical theater star from the '20s or something? Or have I just missed the boat here and now trying to find my place in the world?

When I told R that I was going to see this today, she said, "Oh, yeah, that's the show Kevin and I decided we had gotten too old to for."

"What do you mean?"

"We watched the show on Broadway and just thought, 'Hey, why don't you just PAY THE RENT?!'"

Well, I did laugh at it then... and when I saw the rest of the movie after the "overture" I knew what she meant. Guess it's this generation's "Fame" or something (where I also always cry like a baby at "Hot Lunch" -- I'm not proud!).

I do remember that time in NY though -- I was 26 in 1986 (this was supposed to be 1989), and it all felt right and exactly the same. I was a mess by the time I left in 1988, completely depressed, basically not being asked back to work on "The Cosby Show" and deep in recovery at Debtor's Anonymous 12-step meetings. I'd go to lunch meetings and after work meetings... I remember being in those basement floors of churches with 8-10 folks in a circle, and feeling safer and more sane than I'd ever been before. And of course, that's how I found out it was time for me to "get well" and leave NYC.

For remembering all that, I will love this movie RENT. I enjoyed seeing Taye Diggs and his wife Idina Menzel (Elphaba!), and watching that Jesse L. Martin sing and dance (who knew?!)... but I couldn't stop oogling Rosario Dawson (she's gorgeous), and loving the character of Angel. Go Wilson Jermaine Heredia -- I'm a big fan now! (And my confirmation name is Jermaine... I know, strange... but it was the closest saint's name I could get to G3rry Alt@mero. hehehe)

The music was so-so... a bit to rock-ish for my taste, I bit too "on the head." But the production was great. Except for "Seasons of Love," I barely remember anything... except Collins and Angel dancing in the street. I hope I find a love like that someday.

One last thing: I forgot, and am GLAD TO HAVE BEEN REMINDED, how bad AIDS was then. No one lived when they were diagnosed, no one... and no one talked about it, it was that scary. Back then it was mostly gay men getting it, and when I worked on Cosby as the Director of Guest Relations (I know, big title, blah blah blah), I had a crew of Broadway ushers that worked for me/us on tape nights. The head usher, Mim, had a one fellow, Bill, she adored... and he had these weird marks on his face. I didn't know what they were... small little bruise like things. I didn't want to ask what they were, I didn't want to know. But a few months later, I heard this sweet man had died, and Mim was distraught. I was just so ignorant and naive...

I'm so grateful for what AIDS is not now...and I KNOW WE'RE NOT DONE!... and I'm glad this movie reminded me too.

For Our Vets, 2005

This story will always move me. Always.

The Story of the Unknown Soldier

Armistice Day was observed all over the United States by veteran's parades, public services both religious and secular, with two minutes of silence to honor the dead. In 1920, the British Unknown Soldier was buried in Westminster Abbey, the burial place of kings and queens; that same year a French Unknown Soldier was interred at the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, where a perpetual flame burns.

In 1921, the American Unknown Soldier, symbolizing all the unknown dead, was chosen in an unusual way. Six soldiers of the American Army of Occupation in Germany were selected from different sectors to act as pallbearers. They met at Chalons-sur-Marne, and were interviewed by General Rogers. Next day, Sergeant Edward F. Younger of the 59th Infantry was asked to make a choice among four caskets, with unidentified bodies disinterred from American cemeteries at Bony, Belleau Wood, Romagne, and Thiaucourt.

When the sergeant was ready to perform his solemn duty, he received a bouquet of white roses, with instructions to proceed into the City Hall at Chalons, where the four caskets stood. Sergeant Younger realized fully the grave importance of his action; and after bowing his head, he walked around the coffins three times. On the fourth round, he seemed involuntarily drawn to the second one. Reverently, he laid the roses on it, saluted and reported to his commanding officer that he had accomplished his mission.

The body of the Unknown Soldier was brought home on the cruiser, Olympia, reaching Washington, D.C., on November 9, 1921. For three days thousands of people passed by as the body lay in state in the rotunda of the Capitol. For this important Armistice Day in 1921, President Harding requested that flags be flown from sunrise to sunset at half mast, and that all Americans pay silent tribute as the casket was lowered into the tomb at 11 A.M. on November 11, 1921. There were elaborate ceremonies. High army, navy, and other service personnel, along with diplomats, who had followed the caisson to Arlington, heard the President's address. Many wreaths came from all over our country, and from abroad, these were placed on the plain white marble tomb, on which is these words:

Here rests in honored glory An American Soldier Known but to God.

Veteran's Day 1968

I've always liked this holiday... maybe because it's one of the first holidays that I remember clearly.

Our family and the G's (and perhaps others too) were going to have a picnic in the park off Hesperian Blvd. in San Lorenzo. Of course, the night before my parents were up late skewering the marinated beef chunks for shishkabob, and getting everything ready for the coolers. Parties like these were no small matter... we never just ate hot dogs and hamburgers (those were what "Americans" ate), we had full out steaks, chicken and the fun shishkabobs, as well as pancit (rice noodles), rice (still in their rice cookers), macaroni salad, lots of soda and all kinds of funky desserts.

I didn't know what Veteran's Day was, except that we were going to be in the park all day with the families... good times. (If I ever find the picture taken that day, I'll repost it here.) But maybe since all our dads were in the Navy, it meant something more to them...

When we woke up the next morning, my mom said that our "uncle" Tito Tony called and that his wife and the mother of buddies, Tita Tessie, was in labor. Dad said, "Yes, she had a boy! Get up so we can see them all!" I was so excited because there was going to be a baby around, and now I was old enough to take care of it (or at least handle it)!

But when we got to the park, I heard the REAL news -- Tita Tessie had a girl, and her name was Cynthia Lee. Dad was just teasing us so we would get up!

So ever since then, November 11 has always been Veteran's Day AND Cindy's birthday. She's not a little baby anymore... she just married herself a wonderful Welshman and had her first baby, Jack (pictured above).

This one's for you, Cinch -- Happy Birthday and love to Steve and Jack!

Half Nekkid Thursday #4

I'm a Certified Hand Analyst... I have to put up my left (inner world) hand at some point.

(Yes, it's a fiery hand with a water heart line... if you know more than that, please don't tell everyone about all the "issues" I have! LOL)

Happy HNT!

A Memorial for Claudia's La Rue

I was so priviledged to accompany Claudia last October 24, when she had to put poor ailing La Rue down. Anita and I went with her to the vet, but she went in with La Rue alone. It was just so awful for her, and a sad, sad day. But La Rue that morning could not bear even being petted, and finally, Claudia knew the day had come.

Sunday, she celebrated La Rue with her friends and planted her ashes in a beautiful potted camellia tree.

Some of La Rue's friends: Patric, Anita, Claudia, Kathy, Viv, Tracy, Madley.

A photo of La Rue.


Randy and DeCarla came by later (I love this picture, thank you very much!)

And after a walk...look what odd sculptures one can find in Los Angeles!

More photos of the memorial are HERE.

Blessings to you, La Rue.

But I knew that ;)

You're an Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

I'm A Dirty Little Secret

I feel so boring right now, when the truth is, I'm just feeling relaxed. So let's take a test, shall we?

The Dirty Little Secret Deliberate Gentle Sex Master (DGSMf) Innocent but fundamentally sexual, like the word "finger". You are the Dirty Little Secret. Few women have the confidence for sex mastery, and among nice girls, like you, it's almost unheard of. So congratulations. You've had plenty of adventures, but you've remained a kind, thoughtful person. Your friends appreciate your exploits. They even live vicariously through you. Your exact opposite: The Wild Rose Random Brutal Love Dreamer You seek pleasure, but you're not irresponsible. You are organized and cautious, and you choose your lovers wisely. One, you don't like dirtbags. And two, you like to maintain control. Or at least lose it selectively. You might notice that older men single you out. They have an eye for your sensual nature. Take it as a compliment. You enjoy making people happy, and it's inevitable that many guys will fall harder for you than you for them. You're not completely comfortable in a serious, long-term relationship right now. Our guess is that the key to extended happiness will be finding a responsible, but kinky, mate. ALWAYS AVOID: The Hornivore, The Manchild, The Last Man on Earth CONSIDER: The Bachelor, The Backrubber Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.

Sweet November

I'm so looking forward to staying put! I was in Sacramento, Idyllwild and San Diego for three weekends and I'm broke and pooped.

At least I'm taking my pills regularly combined with seeing my trainer :) twice a week has made my sleeping absolutely delicious. Tonight is an exception... I usually sleep a bit earlier and wake up earlier... and I feel very rested. Could be because of the time change and the weather...

It doesn't matter. I feel better, and it's time to get some real work done.

Woodstock

Got this from YankeeBob...like the answer better than I thought I would (thought I'd be Lucy!):


You are Woodstock!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Half-Nekkid Thursday #3

Last day of class and Patric decides to doodle on my arm in turquoise Sharpie. And because he's so sweet, I let him.

Do! Make it!

Google Images

I stole this from Osbasso, who stole it from the lovely Ago-go, who stole.....

Directions:
Go to Google and click on the images link. Type in the following and post the first (or your favorite) picture the search engine finds.

- The name of the town where you grew up
- The name of the town where you live now
- Your name
- Your Grandmother’s name (pick one)
- Your favorite food
- Your favorite drink
- Your favorite song
- Your favorite smell


The name of the town where you grew up:
Newark, CA
It's up in the Bay Area, "The Capital of Fremont"



The name of the town where you live now:
Burbank, CA
This photo probably has to do with the Burbank airport (now known as "Bob Hope Airport")



Your name:
Madley
There's a little town in England called Madley that hosts a big satellite linkup... I have to visit someday!



Your Grandmother’s name (pick one):
Nieves (Mom's mom, which means "snow")

I looked up Dad's mom too, Purissima -- I didn't know there was a tulip with that name, so beautiful.



Your favorite food:
Steak -- no big surprise!
(Apparently other carnivores have used this photo too...where's dinner?)



Your Favorite Drink:
Cranraspberry drink (one of many)

Ended up getting this cute photo of cranraspberry taffy... doesn't that look delicious?



Your Favorite Song:
"A House is Not A Home"

This was the very first image -- I even bypassed pictures of Ilia skating to the song.


Your Favorite Smell:
Gardenia

I want to inhale it into my very pores. (Nightblooming jasmine will do in a pinch. :)

Song of the Spirit

Heidi read this to us in her Alchemy of Love class -- I want to say it was the first class "Invoke the Heart" but I'm not sure.

There is a tribe in East Africa in which
the art of intimacy is fostered even before birth.
In this tribe, the birth date of a child is not counted
from the day of its physical birth
nor even the day of its conception, as in other cultures.
For this tribe the birth date is marked
the first time the child is a thought in the mother’s mind.
Intending to conceive a child from a particular father,
the mother then goes off to sit alone under a tree.
There she listens until she can hear the song
of the child she hopes to conceive.
When she has heard it, she returns to her village
and teaches it to the father
so that they can sing it together as they make love,
inviting the child to join them.

After the child is conceived, she sings it to the baby in her womb.
Then she teaches it to the old women and midwives of her village,
so that throughout the labor,
and at the miraculous moment of birth itself,
the child is greeted with its song.
After the birth, all the villagers learn the song of their new member
and sing it to the child when it falls or hurts itself.
It is sung in times of triumph or in rituals and initiations.
This song becomes a part of the wedding ceremony
when the child is grown-–
And at the end of life, his or her loved ones
gather around the deathbed
And sing this song for the last time.

Two weeks ago Heidi gave us this assignment:

Song of Self - Extending the Heart

Create a performance, no longer than 3-4 minutes that is a Song of Yourself. You can use words, dance, music, song, objects or some or none of the above. Think about your audience too. Where are we in the space in relationship to your performance?

There is no right way to do this.

She also said to "push ourselves" and face our fears...

So I wrote this piece. My Song of Spirit, called Lily, an organic, off-the-top-of-my-head title -- until I was reminded that my mother's childhood nickname in was Lily (for Soledad).

I handed out music (voice part only) and rehearsed the class twice on the Yamaha piano I brought with me. Then they sang it to me. Heaven.

This week, I had the CD and we played it on Gonz's laptop so they could hear the accompaniment. Then they hummed it to me...and I went numb.

Maybe Mom didn't sit under a tree waiting for a song to reveal itself -- but now the "missing link" of nondeservingness is gone. I've celebrated myself.

Here it is: Lily
(:57 seconds).

And please -- hum it to me on my special days.

Humble thanks

An open thanks to all who left me comments re: my HNT photo yesterday -- so wonderful to be seen and responded to like that. Thanks, Osbasso, for making HNT happen.

And to those who wrote about my eyes and lips... I am equal parts self-conscious and moved. Thank you.

Happy Half-Half-Half Nekkid Thursday

I started with the "half" part, trying to be all arty-farty and such -- then I remembered 5th grade science class and the fact that I had photoshop...

And it's true, it's true -- neither side matches the other. Now I know what side is my "good" side! hahahah (no sarcastic comments from the peanut gallery, please).

Happy HNT!

"In My Daughter's Eyes"

So much to say about this wedding in Sacramento last weekend -- will complete soon. Suffice it to say, Andrea was shocked and moved when her mom and Rick surprised her by singing this Martina McBride song to her at the reception.

What a beautiful moment!

Half-Nekkid Thursday

Ah, blogging is so fun -- thanks for turning me on to this, YankeeBob!



Okay, I'm not that creative for today, my first Thursday -- but it's also not often I get to show off a nekkid Pacific-Islander-and-ready-to-climb-coconut-trees foot that's freshly manicured in a Pimp My Ride kind of color (that I love so be nice). And did you notice the background -- it's the HNT guideline page! But next week I'll be a bit more...inventive. :)

Wanna play? Just click on the button and read the guidelines -- and share away!

John Fugelsang -- NOT "my bad"

[First guy I've ever heard address the phrase "my bad" -- I HATE that phrase, and thank goodness he rolled his eyeballs at that one. I DON'T GET IT...what kind of crappy English is that?!]

Guess my unconscious self got mixed up -- it replaced John Fugelsang with his America's Top Home Video's predecessor, Bob Saget. I KNEW I should've been making out with Fugelsang instead...

Just happened to catch tickets with my writing teacher to see his show tonight, surprising my brother, who happened to be in town on business. It was a good night, and poor Mickey, didn't see it coming -- welcome to my world! I've never told my family about my writing/performance class, and here he is at a cabaret in West Hollywood surrounded by all of us artist types. But knowing my engineer bro, I don't think he felt too out of his element -- after all, he once was an award-winning drummer!

Fugelsang was terrifc (and quite hot in longer hair and jeans -- and a shirt too). I loved the storytelling part because that's what I saw him in first (yeah, remember THAT EARLIER POST). He can tell a story with the best of them... and after enjoying full out characters like that... I didn't want to hear stand up. Set-up/joke, wet-up/joke, set-up/joke... bleech.

I wanna see the guy who's done Hamlet.

Anyhoo, it was a fun night. I could see his wife behind him -- she was enjoying it a lot too -- which is great to see in this town (as opposed to a spouse who's bored to death). I toyed with sending him an "appreciation email" via my teacher (okay, a FAN LETTER), but thought differently when I remembered I was ON STAGE with this guy and we met under different circumstances. You know, we were fellow performers?! [Got to get out of this "fan" mindset...okay, done.]

So maybe he'll find this if he googles himself. ;) John -- great show!

I'm so proud

My wedding present -- this website for Lynn and Stephen.

I love weddings... and this was a joy. If you liked it -- spread the word :)

Kissing Bob Saget

How is it my dreams are THAT much more exciting that my real life?

Getting a powerful environmental message from David Letterman -- about forests, golf courses (?), electronic waste, as well as giving HMOs a chance to do their work... Wacky stuff.

Also, about paying attention to people who have BEEN in earthquakes and floods and all natural disasters because they now real terror... and to love the one you're with.

HAHAHA I'm still laughing at all of this... because in the end I had to learn how to really play golf (not playing at playing golf) so I could be with my Kissing King, Bob Saget. How in the hell did he get into my subconscious? Maybe I shouldn't fall asleep with the radio on.

Whatever it was... it was the best makeout session ever! EVER.

Where in the world is Moldova?

This is such a good game I got from Sp3ccylad... I've finally learned where some countries are!

European Countries - Level Three

I still sucked though -- 31/45 countries right (69%) and 144 miles error. (And yes, I did it twice -- got the same score!)

Try it -- how'd you do?