I'm a mush-pot (no big news) -- and it's showing up in my dreams... today's nap produced another sweat-inducing, probably peri-menopausal wedding or boyfriend dream... and lately they've been looking like Paolo Montalban.
In case you didn't know, he played The Prince in the 1997 Cinderella TV version with Brandy and Whitney Houston. He's a beautiful man, he's got a gorgeous voice and shockingly enough... he's Filipino. {Why is that? Because Filipino men have an incredible hoop to jump through in my eyes... but hey, that's another post.}
THE SWEETEST SOUNDS
The sweetest sounds I'll ever hear
Are still inside my head
The kindest words I'll ever know, are waiting to be said
The most entrancing sight of all, is yet for me to see
And the dearest love in all the world
Is waiting somewhere for me
Is waiting somewhere, somewhere for me
(Rodgers and Hammerstein)
Ah,what a dreamer I am... and I like it that way. (Wow, I'm feeling a bit defensive about this all right now! But I plow on -- I at least write in this blog so I remember where/what I was feeling -- it's MY blog, isn't it? -- or that I even WAS feeling...)
Tonight I had the urge to finally pull out my Cinderella video and watch and sing... and I swear, I felt my heart open up... AHA! I finally know the key to my well of hopes and dreams... MUSICALS. Amazingly enough, it's only in a musical that people/characters are so overwhelmed with feeling that mere words will not suffice -- they have to break out in song... oh, dear, I'm getting teary just thinking about it again.
Last week I finally watched my TV -- thanks CJ for putting my VCR/DVD players together -- I'd had the TV for a year and a half and was just scared that I broke it. I don't have reception, but I was able to pull out one of my favorite movies, A Little Romance, with Diane Lane. My friend who watched it with me was feeling quite cynical about it -- knowing what would happen, that they couldn't really be together... and I was so "into" my movie, I didn't even notice she wasn't laughing and enjoying herself.
Same with tonight... I have another friend who's stressed out about a job she's doing on the side and hates that after all these years in the business, she's still doing "surivial gigs." I couldn't even relate.
And that's okay. Because, as dearest, sweet Heidi says in The Alchemy of Love class I've just begun with her -- one of the steps of the heart is softening the heart. And when I can just sing and cry into my TV, and open my heart to the hope of true, innocent love again -- then I know that I, the optimistic Seven, am out of my head in the right place.
It was terrific hanging in Sacramento with my buddy, Ms. D. and her family. Her niece, Lisa, married the handsome Cliff and I was very happy to be invited. What I don't understand: Why do people still live in Sacramento? IT'S SO DAMN HOT!
But then I wasn't thinking so much about the heat as was my stupid shoes... when did I get so vain? These cheap-ass things were just too cute and I was too dumb to buy them... my final lesson in being sorry-ass shoes and being cheap. PAY FOR THE GOOD STUFF for god's sake!
Didn't realize I was going to be on duty to take pictures for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, as well as helping out with videotaping the actually day of... but that was actually good to have willing subjects all weekend! I kept myself busy and enjoyed playing with D.'s over $2K digital "stalk-arazzi" camera -- too bad none of those pictures are here.
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Update: I'm feeling so behind with my posting, I figured I'd better just post what I have rather than wait... I hate the feeling of not being caught up with MYSELF... so here are some pictures from my baby camera ;)
Suffice it to say, it was a fabu wedding! The Bride and Groom are wonderful young people who will I know will admire as they grow together and begin their lives!
But back to me (hehehe) -- I didn't feel too old, too single or too drunk, I didn't catch the bouquet but didn't want to anyway, despite my ass being on the dance floor with all the lovely maidens. HAHAHA! I also didn't get a chance to absorb the ceremony since I was being a shutterbug, but during the father-daughter dance, "You are the Sunshine of My Life..." I really, really lost it. I always do...
Ah, weddings... those kinds of tears are wonderful.
Get yours at YourEmblem.com
I have a friend who can't stand all the money that's wasted on personalized license plates. After all, "they're just cars."
I, on the other hand, LOVE EVERYTHING PERSONALIZED. Engraved, monogrammed, tagged, what have you... (hey, I personalized my NAME, didn't I?!) -- and now emblems!
So isn't this cool? Got this from Bryan's blog, though I can't remember how I got there... oh, yeah, through Seth, through Austen (and a little nod to you, Allie!) :)
Next car I get, I'm buying these suckers! May be a while though.
Wish I had pictures but I can't find the battery charger for the camera... I've already taken my pill -- after the girls all were insisting I take it! -- so I hope this entry isn't as incoherent and badly spelled as the last one. hehehe
Felt so good... after 10 years and five months in this little 400 square foot aparment, it's been cleaned, retiled and recarpeted -- and I had friends over again for food! Four strong hand analysis/arty/healer chicks helping with various homework assignments and lots of wine, pasta, salad and soy dream :) I had to say at the end of the night:
"SHE'S BACK!" Oh! It feels FABULOUS to be back like this. I lived like a hermit/hobo /loner for so long -- because I was too socially entwined and I didn't know how to be alone. So I swung the other way and hid out, didn't even have a phone for awhile, cell or otherwise. Now... I'm somewhere in the middle, and feeling terrific that I can be a host again.
They brought the food and drink (I bought the soy dream though ;) but they were IN MY HOUSE.
Boy this feels Tony the Tiger GGRRReat! I'm gonna have great dreams tonight...
When one doesn't have a TV, one happily takes a pet-sitting gig in Hollywood with unlimited cable, HBO and Showtime and Tivo. But one also has to plan to stay put -- which required packing I didn't do, and hence the basic grounded of my adventures had a lot to be desired!
* Thursday -- back from Astrology, starving and ate some of the fixin's Jeffrey and Alan bought for my weekend with their "kids" -- Nero, the four-month-old Corgi/German Shepherd mix, and Elvis and Priscilla, his kitty siblings. Jeffrey'd Tivo'd three Kept, where Jerry Hall picks one young KEPT MAN, and they win $100K and lots of acroutrements... I kept delaying the end, hoping handsome, introspective, sexy, brilliant, Austen Earl... but at the end she picked his best friend, Seth Frye. Funny choice... makes her laugh. At the stage in her laugh Jerry said she wanted to have fun and be entertained (I agree!) and Seth really fit the bill... it was great to watch/learn from this show. Passed out late.
* Friday -- do the Nero thing way too early, watch Tivo'd stuff (mostly HGTV makeover stuff). Rush to Burbank to cash a check, get clothes, shower, let L.'s Irish Setter and King Charles Springer Spaniel out and feed them. Dash back to Hollywood for Nero and the kitties, screaming all the way through frickin' Hollywood Bowl Traffic. Then meet Lu so we go up to Heidi and Andrew's fantastic (and humid) party -- great mix of working artists, musicians, actors, writers -- and healers. Lots to talk about! Read an earthy-air guy with ten loops (!) and asked him how he supported himself (the polite way in Hollywood to "what do you do?" He said, "An actor." I had to question him again... REALLY? Yes. Oh, okay, yes. I'm meeting people moving forwardm getting paid for their art... that's good karma for me! One check on imdb.com proved him legit ... how cool. Also met a man in a CBS Fall sitcom... very, very cool. I'm meeting a different kind of person now... I must be growing too!
Then back to Nero and Tivo -- where I watched Alec Mapa in Wisecrack... he's the funniest filipino-American gay man I've ever had the pleasure to meet. Good to laugh myself to sleep.
* Saturday morning started early with the pupster... then to babysit Kate at 10 am at Heidi and Andrew's. Lovely, lovely... got to talk to Heidi for a bit and relax... til it was time for her to do a reading, and me to leave. Only my car battery wouldn't turn over... too old. So I went upstairs to yak with Andrew until AAA came... and then followed the guy to his uncle's shop to get a new one. Seemed nice enough and I'm sure I overpaid, but I was just relieved to have nice people to deal with, what's a few bucks I don't have.
Went to Nero, then to Burbank to get ready for Viv G's 40th Birthday party: "don't come as you are." First to sherman oaks to feed CB's kitty but it was dark and I couldn't find my way around to get in. I was an idiot... it was a baby bag, right? Oh poor kitty. But then I had to rush back to Burbank to carpool with L. to the club... oops, food's almost all gone. Strawberry cake was scrumptious. Dancing was fun in the club... and you can't really dance to ABC by the Jackson Five. I didn't drink... but I was losing it at this point, I'm so tired. I couldn't even play correctly with the one crasher with long hair who took his shirt off to dance sexily with all the arty/healery/body work folk... Back to get car in Burbank, then to Nero. It's anice walk in Hollywood at night. ("But watch out for the land mines," Alan warns me. There are so many animals in this apartment/condo heavy area, there's lots to watch out for in the "poop patch.")
Sunday was a bit more relaxed... Nero's lovely (after he ate my cell phone antennae and leather case -- hehehe, I'd been warned). I try to work a little online... watch the stuff I'd Tivo'd... and get ready to babysit for Kate again, only Heidi tells me the babysitter of the birthday boy's cancelled -- could I stay at their house with their sleeping 14-month old Kieran and feed Kate. Of course I could -- got to watch Bambi for the first time! Then home to Nero and some good tug of war, and downing Elvis' pill.
* Monday -- more relaxed, one trip to Burbank, tons of Tivo and the boys took me to Canters. at this point have a pretty bad heartburn... take pepcid and have matzoh ball soup soon. And right then, as I'm eating this wonderful comfort food, I'm thinking how great to not have to think this weekend. Just have weird day dreams amd real dreams.
== Okay, Lunestra's kicked in... life is good... I'm knocking out.
Surrounded by stripper outfits, and all I want is the biggest tiara in the shop... it's Madley as Glinda the Good Witch! What the hell was in those sleeping pills?
[Not to mention I had a NIGHTMARE of a dream -- I got married by proxy in the worst planned wedding EVER and there was no sight of a groom ANYWHERE... not MY ideal vow-swapping ceremony by any means! UGH...I need to learn to sleep right.]
What's YOUR true dream? Got pics?
